25 Better Insults For Kim Jong-Un To Use On Donald Trump

Last week, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un got into yet another war of words with the man he’s trying to goad into starting an actual war. Un called U.S. President Donald Trump a “dotard” and a “warmonger” and President Trump responded with his own sarcastic tweet in which he backhandedly called Un “short and fat.” Trump’s tweet is below, in case you needed an excuse to lose a few brain cells reading abject stupidity.

Donald J. Trump on Twitter

Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me “old,” when I would NEVER call him “short and fat?” Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend – and maybe someday that will happen!

Now, look, I’m not one to take any spoiled, unfit, unworthy, entitled douchebag tyrant’s side over another’s. I mean, I frankly think in the battle between Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un you’re supposed to root for violent diarrhea to befall both gladiators. But that being said, Donald Trump is such a contemptible piece of shit, and his supporters are such delusional, pants-shitting lunatics about turning a blind eye to gross incompetence and dangerous allergy to the truth, that it makes me just want to reach out to Un and hand him this list of insults, which I think are much more creative and better than basically calling the Orange Creamsicle of Assholeness “old.”

25 Better Insults For Kim Jong-Un To Use On Donald Trump
  1. Putin’s Pusillanimous Puppet
  2. The Michele Bachmann of Sarah Palins
  3. Captain Covfefe
  4. The Full-Blown AIDS of Presidents
  5. Mr. I Couldn’t Even Carry My Home State
  6. Fake News Fuckhead
  7. An Alleged Billionaire
  8. B-Team George W. Bush
  9. President Stupid-ham Stinkin’
  10. President Piss Party
  11. Apricot Pol Pot
  12. Tangerine Twat-waffle
  13. A mendacious, misanthropic miscreant…that wants to fuck his daughter.
  14. A trust fund racist…that regularly misuses “their, they’re, and there” in tweets.
  15. A Twitter-bound twit.
  16. The least-popularly elected POTUS of all time. (Bonus points for being true)
  17. Sausage Arteries McGee
  18. Mike Pence’s Placeholder
  19. A Less Likable Bag of Diarrhea Dipped in Orange Julius
  20. Sean Hannity’s Masturbatory Material
  21. The Older, Less Korean Me
  22. Tweetle Dumb
  23. That fuckwit from reality-TV.
  24. Darth Dumbass
  25. Donald J. Trump

Got any more to add? Let us know in the comments!

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About James Schlarmann 1446 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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