4 Things We Can Safely Assume About Every Man Who Un-Ironically Tweeted #RepealThe19th

I genuinely don’t know if the guy who started the hashtag was being serious, a Trump fan, or what have you, but someone on Twitter started a #RepealThe19th hashtag after one of Donald’s dopey dilettante heirs tweeted out a picture of a polling breakdown that showed his father could win the election…

…if only men voted.

Eric Trump’s fundraising pitch is basically wrong about everything

With spectacularly bad timing, an email from the Donald Trump campaign went out Wednesday morning titled, “Momentum.” To make a long story short, the Trump campaign seems to think, based on non-existent polls, that they’re on the brink of a victory that would be the equivalent of having no women in America vote.

You’d think that Trump supporters would know not to pickup that hashtag and run with it. But then again, you’d also think most Republicans wouldn’t be dumb enough to be steam-rolled by an orange-skinned, tiny-handed protodictatorial con man either so…Yeah, a lot of knuckle-draggers came out of the woodwork to give their oh-so hilarious and intellectual reasoning for why half the population doesn’t deserve self governance. It’s not nice to generalize about people, I know, but I have a feeling I can make five really good, educated guesses about the kinds of people who legitimately want to repeal the 19th Amendment, so here we go…

4 Things We Can Safely Assume About Every Man Who Un-Ironically Tweeted #RepealThe19th

#4. The Last Time They Saw A Vagina It Was Their Mother’s

And these are Trump fans we’re talking about, so I’m not even saying it was when they were born. So to be fair, maybe it wasn’t that long ago for them. But otherwise, any man who truly thinks women shouldn’t vote is probably having a hard time convincing one to fuck him.

#3. Smart Women Scare The Living Shit Out Of Them

Honestly, who in their right mind in 2016 thinks women can’t be trusted with the vote? Men who are stupid and are too challenged by smart women to think straight, I’m guessing. In case any knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, four-alarm fuckwits out there forgot: women couldn’t vote for more than 130 years after this country was formed. So everything that sucked and was terrible about the good ol’ U.S. of A. was voted in by people with penises. Call me crazy, but considering since women gained fully-protected suffrage we’ve seen the end of Jim Crow, Roe Vs. Wade, and marriage equality, I’d say our freedom and liberty quotient has gone up enough to call bullshit on the notion that women can’t handle the responsibility of their vote.



#2. They Probably Call The Civil War “The War of Northern Aggression”

Undoubtedly I’m making a generalized claim here, but judging by the people I saw tweeting in earnest to #RepealThe19th, there seems to be a shared set of values. Super-conservative, and from red states. These are a lot of the same people who claim the Civil War wasn’t about slavery. In other words — willfully ignorant and in full belief of a version of history that is in no way historically accurate.

#1. They’re Misogynistic,Whiny Baby Boys

Seriously. This is the point. I can’t even imagine the depth of the abyss of self-confidence these poor, pathetic dudes must live in. I’m an opinionated, loud-mouthed douchebag. But you know what I’m not? An opinionated, loud-mouthed douchebag who thinks my dick somehow magically makes me smarter than a woman. In fact, in my experience, it’s the complete and total opposite. So truly, if your solution to any problem is to strip entire groups of people of their voice in their government — you are America-ing completely wrong.


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

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About James Schlarmann 1464 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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