There is no doubt that if you consider yourself even remotely progressive, liberal, or even libtarded, the next four to eight years are going to be rough. It’s bad enough that the Iraq War, Bush Tax Cuts, Trickle Down party is back in power, they did so by foisting a rich, entitled, out of touch, oligarchic shart in a suit on us to boot. Trump is clearly looking out for who he feels is most important — Trump — which means his agenda is looking like a full-tilt smash and grab job where he gets to enrich himself and his business interests while his supporters pat each other on the back because they stopped we liberals from, like, trying to help the sick and the poor or whatever.
Maybe you’re like me and you want to plant your feet to resist Trump’s agenda and stick your metaphorical thumb in his eye. I’ve been doing some thinking about this, and given how thin-skinned and obviously volatile he is, I don’t think it’ll be that hard to trigger him every single day. And I have a theory that like most bullies, if you bully him back long enough and hard enough, you might just get him to go away, or to change his bullying ways. It’s worth a shot anyway.
But it’s not enough to troll and resist Trump. Let’s have a little fun while doing it. Because honestly, he’s so very, very easy to mock and ridicule, and his sycophantic supporters make it even more enjoyable to do so. They complained about Obama’s cult of personality and then turned right around and joined the Cult of the Orange Faced A-Hole the first chance they got.
So here are my 5 Fun Ways to Resist President Trump His Entire Term.
#1. Tweet at him every single day to remind him he lost the popular vote by a huge margin, and barely won the Electoral College.
Given his habits and tendencies, you might just get a personal retweet or reply from the President of the United States! Of course, if you have even a vaguely Jewish-looking last name you might end up getting spammed with Nazi propaganda by the alt-right, but…The good thing is that getting under Trump’s skin is good for you, and for the country. Something tells me if we hammer him relentlessly, within six months it’ll be too much for his ego and he’ll resign.
Here are a couple examples of tweets I’ve been sending him on an almost daily basis.
Sup, @realDonaldTrump? Good to hear. Oh, before I forget, you're the least popularly elected president of all time and have no mandate.
— James Schlarmann (@JamboSchlarmbo) December 28, 2016
Oh, hey, @realDonaldTrump, how are you? Oh, good to hear. Anyway, you were the least popularly elected president of all time, no big deal.
— James Schlarmann (@JamboSchlarmbo) December 27, 2016
Hi @realDonaldTrump! Hope you had a great Christmas and that you haven't forgotten you are the least popularly elected president of all time
— James Schlarmann (@JamboSchlarmbo) December 26, 2016
#2. Tweet him the link to IRS Form 8821 every single day
Somehow, Republican voters who don’t trust a guy was born in America just because his skin is black managed to elect a guy as president without even seeing his taxes. They claimed it was an unnecessary invasion of a rich man’s privacy. Because you know, why the hell would the American people want to make sure their president wasn’t heavily indebted to a foreign power, like say, Russia, am I right? But if you’re like me and you think we have a right to know these things, every day tweet him a link to IRS Form 8821, which gives permission to have one’s tax records released.
Here’s the link for you: IRS Form 8821, for your reference.
#3. Each day, tweet him Amazon links to English to Russian translation books
Maybe the Russians helped Trump, maybe they didn’t. Maybe he knew about the hacking early on, maybe he didn’t. After all, the orange sack of shit openly asked Russia to hack Hillary during the campaign. So who knows? But what I do know is that it’s going to eat Donny up inside knowing that many, many millions of people don’t believe he was elected without at least some help from the Russians. What better way to troll him over that insecurity he feels than by sending him links to books that will help him learn a little Russian, like this one below?
#4. Take time every day to tweet him YouTube clips of SNL sketches mocking him
Donald Trump is easily the most thin-skinned person to ever be elected president. Most presidents-elect have figured out that in a country with essentially only two political parties that have a shot at winning, they’ll be the brunt of some pretty good critique and mocking from the people who didn’t vote for them. Trump has not and probably will not ever figure that out, so him having a grace is a pipe dream at this point. You can do your part to troll him over his sensitivities by tweeting him clips of SNL and Alec Baldwin’s impression of him.
#5. Tweet Article 2, Section 4 of the U.S. Constitution each and every day to him
There’s a phrase that I get a feeling will become very pertinent in coming months, and that’s “impeachment.” It’s the process by which we can remove presidents for “high crimes and misdemeanors.” No one has ever been successfully removed by impeachment, though three presidents have had the dubious honor of being impeached. Something tells me the conman grifter in the White House will do or has done something already — colluding with a foreign power to influence our election maybe? — that warrants impeachment, and tweeting this to Trump every day could very well force him to crack and resign before it comes to that. Then again, his ego is about a hundred billion times larger than his…hands…so let’s not go holding our breath there.
Do you have any ideas how to resist President Trump? Let us know in the comments!
Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.