Actually…Yeah, I’d Vote for Hillary If She Chose Sanders As Her VP

A couple weeks back, Hillary Clinton floated the idea of enlisting her rival for the Democratic presidential nomination, Senator Bernie Sanders, to be her Vice-Presidential running mate. Personally, after grappling with the decision for a few weeks, I made the choice to be “Bernie or Bust” based on the fact that I live in California, I don’t feel that Ms. Clinton is the kind of leader we need to shape country in the way it should be, and especially because of her defense of Israel’s disgusting campaign against Palestinians in Gaza that left roughly 2,000 civilians dead.

But you know what? If she chooses Bernie as her Veep, and he takes her up on the offer, of course I’ll vote for her.

For starters, Bernie in the administration is better than Bernie not in the administration. Yes, the VP role isn’t exactly a decision maker, but it is someone who is often out in front of issues. In fact, it was Barack Obama’s Vice President coming out in favor of marriage equality that forced Obama himself to complete his intellectual and philosophical evolution on the subject. It’s likely a truthful observation to make that how important the Vice President’s role is has a direct relationship to the kind of person that the Vice President is.

Another reason I’d gleefully vote for Hillary if she chose Bernie as her running mate is Hillary’s own hawkish tendencies. Putting Sanders in that spot would guarantee we’d not have a Dick Cheney in our midst. And I’m not saying that Hillary is going to create a reason for a war…again. I’m just saying that it cannot possibly hurt to have a guy in the cabinet who was actually against the Iraq War and only voted to fund it after Congress as a whole had approved it and he didn’t want our men and women going into combat under-equipped.


There’s also the fact that putting Sanders on the ticket should help bring a long a whole lot of his supporters into the fold, getting Democrats that highly coveted “unity” they claim to want more than anything now. Yes, there are many who would consider “Bernie or Bust” to mean not voting for anyone but him for president, but I think many would, like me, surmise that some White House Bernie is better than No White House Bernie, and would probably hold their nose and vote for Ms. Clinton in that scenario.

Oh, and then there’s the fact that when it comes to wielding the presidency’s bully pulpit, Sanders could take that duty for Clinton. I mean, Hillary is well-qualified and can certainly be the country’s chief executive. But her unfavorable ratings are so damn high right now I don’t see how she can convince Joe Blow America to look both ways before crossing the street, let alone that we should break up the banks, expand free public education, or go along with any of the progressive reforms the Democratic Party allegedly backs.

Lastly, and I know this will upset the Hillary people as much as me saying I’d vote for her will upset certain elements of the Pro-Bernie crowd, but it has to be said — on the extremely remote chance that something sticks to her, the peace of mind of knowing that Sanders would step in is fucking huge to me. Please understand I’m not in any way trying to convince you that she’ll be indicted for her email problems, or that new evidence that she ordered the attack on Benghazi will come to light. I’m just saying that if you think the Republicans won’t be trying even harder to remove her than they did to Obama, you’re high. And if by some stupid chance their broken clocks are right this time, then the assurance of having Sanders in there is kind of like having Teddy Roosevelt in the VP chair when McKinley was shot.

And I swear to God, anyone who says I’m trying to say a damn thing about Hillary being assassinated can lick my frontal pee zone. That’s not what I’m going for here, at all. I’m not a piece of shit. I just don’t like her.

The bottom line, to me, is a simple one. I know that Hillary is tremendously qualified and prepared to be president. I just don’t like the kind of president she’s prepared to be and qualified for. But that doesn’t mean I can’t see the forest for the trees. If by some miracle the Hillary Machine woke up to the reality that this election is about anti-establishment sentiment on both sides of the aisle and asked Sanders to be the under card for her, I’d of course vote for Clinton. I won’t hold my breath for that though, no matter how much sense it might actually make.

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About James Schlarmann 1174 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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