So How Long Until Captain Cheddar Tits Is Impeached?

There has never been a person who held the office of the presidency in this country who was successfully impeached and removed from office. President Andrew Johnson, Lincoln’s successor, came the closest when he avoided that fate by one Senator’s vote, and Richard Nixon was by all known reports going to be removed from office, but he resigned before that embarrassment befell him. Donald Trump is already an historic figure because he won the presidency with the least margin of popular support (losing the popular vote so badly will do that), and because he never held any elected office before, but something tells me he may end up being historic for being another presidential first.

So, really, how long until Captain Cheddar Tits gets impeached?

I know, I can already hear your finger wagging from here. “But, James, the Republicans control both sides of Congress and they’d never vote to impeach their own guy,” you scream at me. And you’re not wrong, per se, but I think you’re not probably not looking at the bigger picture here. Most of the Republicans in office didn’t really want Trump; they just made a cynical political calculation to support him because they chose party power over what’s best for the country as a whole. But if you really don’t think they’d jump at a chance to ditch him and put their lantern-jawed bigot Mike Pence in his stead, I have some really awesome beachfront Arizona property to sell you.

The man has already shown, before being sworn in, that he has the propensity to do something to get his ass thrown out of office; it’s just that simple.

From Russia With Love

Let’s just start in good ol’ Mother Russia shall we? I’m not a Cold Warrior, nor am I a Russophobe. I just don’t like Vlad Putin. Why? Because I don’t like reporters being murdered. I don’t like LGBTQ Russians being harassed and imprisoned. Putin is a terrible human being and has overseen some truly disgusting human rights violations. So yeah, I kinda want to know if that kind of prick face is going to be bending our president’s ear; call me crazy.

I don’t know at all that the Russian hacking of our election swayed it for Trump, and I don’t know if he knew what they were doing when they were doing it. But I do want a full and complete congressional inquiry, because if you don’t care enough to protect your elections from outside, foreign meddling, then I really don’t want to hear you ever bitch about voter ID laws being struck down, or voter fraud in general, because while we have no real evidence of that, many intelligence agencies sure seem to have evidence that Russia fucked with us.

Maybe the Russian hacking story trips Trump up, maybe it doesn’t. But that’s why it’s time to hold an investigation and find out, once and for all. Americans who are concerned about this issue should bombard their congress folk with calls, just like they did to halt the gutting of the independent ethics oversight committee.

Conflicts Of Interest = Teapot Dumb Scandals

Probably the best chance we have at impeaching Trump will be from his numerous, voluminous, well-documented conflicts of interest. Republicans thought they were doing the world a favor by electing such a well-known business impresario. But the problem is that they didn’t think about how many different pies he’s got his diminutive little orange fingers in. These conflicts of interest put him in direct line to be corrupted by business deals over and over and over again.

The free press will never be so important as it is in the next four years. Every meeting a Trump crotch fruit takes should be documented and investigated. They should have to have monitored visitation like parents who can’t be trusted with their kids. Somehow some business deal between Trump interests and another foreign power, or a domestic lobbyist will get exposed as nothing more than quid pro quo bribery and even Republicans won’t be able to ignore the calls for his removal.

Crony Capitalism FTW Or The Ultimate L

It’s funny; if Barack Obama had used his Twitter account to troll, abuse, and threaten any company, Republicans would be drafting the articles of impeachment the moment the tweets went live. But for some reason, there are Republicans who are now jumping for joy at Trump doing exactly that. Whether it’s the Carrier deal that wreaks of favoritism given the factory that was saved is in his Vice-President’s home state, or the bullying of GM over the Chevy Cruze, Donald Trump has already shown us he’s more than willing to put his finger on the scale and help who he wants to help, which will inevitably leave others in the same market at a disadvantage.

The thing about these deals is that they’re probably pretty unconstitutional to begin with, since the president doesn’t really have the power to negotiate tax rates with individual companies and stuff. But that’s not the biggest reason they could get him impeached — his own greed is. Maybe he’s smart enough to only line his own pockets with these deals every so often, so as not to raise suspicion, but can we really be at all surprised when we find out he struck a deal that benefited him personally?

When even right-wing libertarians are seeing Trump’s bullshit for what it is, I start to think his days in the White House will be truly numbered. And, here’s such an article from a right-wing source:

Donald Trump’s Cronyism and Authoritarianism on Full Display in Twitter Attack on GM

Donald Trump has not yet taken the oath of office, but he’s again overstepping the limits of presidential authority by bullying more American companies for shipping jobs to other counties.


The Twit Can’t Stop Tweeting

On New Year’s Eve, when any rational soon-to-be future head of state would make a magnanimous effort to put aside partisanship and political cynicism for just one day, Trump said in effect, “Fuck all that shit,” and called out his “many” enemies. He honest to shit used the term “enemies” when describing people, many millions of which — 75 million in fact — who didn’t vote for him.

This man’s Twitter account is probably his biggest Achilles Heel, and if you ask me it’s the thermal exhaust port we need to lob a few proton torpedoes down if we want to blow up his administration. For any Trump lovers reading, I meant that as a metaphor, which you can learn all about in fifth grade reading class, which I understand may leave many of you out in the cold, given that government schooling is for libtards, and all.




Trump’s tweets are going to get someone killed or cause a constitutional crisis. When he directly confronts a U.S. citizen on Twitter, and one of his dopey supporters goes and kills that person for standing up to Trump, maybe that’ll be what gets his ass thrown out. Or when he tweets some highly sensitive information on accident, maybe that’ll do it. I don’t know. But without a doubt he’s a dangerous idiot to begin with, and when you bait him on Twitter, all bets are off.

That’s not a recipe for keeping yourself out of trouble.

Why do you think Trump will be impeached eventually? Let us know in the comments.


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

Comments

comments

About James Schlarmann 1504 Articles
James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.
WP Twitter Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com