Chris Christie Goes All Jersey on the GOP, Endorses Trump and Smacks Rubio In the Process

Boy oh boy did the GOP establishment piss off Chris Christie or what?!

That has to be why Christie is throwing himself in with Donald Trump now. Christie’s endorsement of the billionaire reality-TV star’s campaign actually makes sense if you think about it. Both Trump and Christie are loud, abrasive, east coast-style megalomaniacs. In another election cycle, it would have been Christie’s bombast and not Trump’s leading the charge, I’m sure. But the establishment forsook Governor Christie for daring to enlist the federal government’s help during Hurricane Sandy, and he has repaid them back twice now by ripping into Marco Rubio.

As reported by The Huffington Post, Christie had this to say about Rubio’s debate remarks:

“I heard some of Sen. Rubio’s comments this morning,” Christie said. “None of them were about the people of this country…[or] the fact that middle class folks in this country are suffering.

“We can’t any longer as a country stand up and defend ourselves around the world because we have a leader who wrings his hands,” he added. “I didn’t hear any of that this morning from Senator Rubio.” (source)

Ouch. So much for Marco’s performance during the debate last night.

Christie obviously heard the talking heads giving Marco high marks and decided to shove a shiv into them too. I don’t want to generalize here, but I know quite a few people from New Jersey, and what Gov. Christie is doing right now is very Jersey, and more specifically it’s very Jersey politics. He was sold out, so he’s going scorched-earth on them. Christie will keep throwing heavy-handed punches at both Cruz and Rubio now until Trump either drops out or runs independently. That is a crushing blow the establishment, no matter how much they’ll spin it otherwise.

The wheels are now officially off the clown car, everyone. This is going to be a nutty, free-for-all shit show from here until the convention concludes. Anyone who doesn’t think the fight will go tooth and nail to the bitter end is kidding themselves now. If Christie, who was an establishment guy a couple years ago, can jump ship and start attacking the party’s golden boy, then you better believe others will follow suit if they smell a Trumpian wind blowing their way.


I wouldn’t so much say it’s celebration time for liberal Americans though. Even though the Republican Party is clearly not a serious party anymore, there are seriously misinformed people that will vote for Trump, by the bucket load. And Democratic turnout in the primaries so far has not been what many would call “inspiring.” So if they manage to fumble the football that the Republicans are handing them, then Democratic voters have no one to blame for themselves.

Not being alive in the 1800’s, I have no idea, really, if this is sort of how it felt as the Whig Party was immolating. But it must’ve been a little like this. The Republican Party is so fractured now, and it’s going to get more fractured as the convention draws near. Again, none of this means an assured-victory for the Dems this fall, but it sure as hell makes the path a little less fraught with opportunities to lose.

For me, I’m just looking forward to another few months of Chris Christie saying stuff into a microphone about Rubio and Cruz. They are weasel people who often bully others. Hell, they are in a party that thinks bullying gay people and Muslims is fine, so you know what? If they’re going to start getting bullied by one of their party’s biggest piss ants, then so be it. It really was a stroke of genius bringing Christie into the Trump camp’s fold; he was the one who hit Rubio the most consistently and hardest in debates.

Time to go out to Costco for a three hundred pound supply of popcorn. Somehow, this election just got even more insanely terrifyingly entertaining. And we’re still months away from the conventions.

May the Farce be with us, always.

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About James Schlarmann 1507 Articles
James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.
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