Let’s Point And Laugh At The Trumpolytes Because The Clintons Are Going To Attend Trump’s Inauguration

If you’re outside and you turn your ears westward, you might just pick up on the faint rumblings of utter, ball dropping laughter coming from Southern California. That’s me. I’m currently busting a gut and even splitting some sides over the news that Bill and Hillary Clinton will be attending Donald Trump’s inauguration next week. Yes, you read that right. The Clintons will be going to Trump’s inauguration.

As reported by NBC News, the woman who Trump defeated in the election back in November will be attending his swearing-in.

Clinton aides confirmed to NBC News Tuesday that the Clintons will be in attendance. Hillary Clinton lost the Electoral College vote to Trump after a bruising, bitter campaign. (source)

To be totally frank, I’m a little shocked that the Clintons are attending myself. But it does make sense when one thinks about it, because despite everything they’re accused of being or not being, the Clintons are a family that has embraced politics, and the political history of the country. They understand how momentous any inauguration is, and they — I think anyway — want to pay honor to the process and the “office” of the presidency more than they want to honor Donald Trump in any capacity.

Not that they’d ever admit it, but this kind of proves that the Clintons really do cherish the country. It proves that they’re actually willing, despite what they’re accused of by the right ad nauseum, to put aside their own egos and legacies to do something to help the country. Clearly, Bill and Hillary believe on some level that the healing this country needs can be fostered along if they show up and wish Apricot Pol Pot as much success as they can muster, and that means they’re far more patriotic than Trump or his followers.

Do we really think Donny would show up in a couple weeks if it was Hillary being given the big chair in the Oval Office? No, of course we don’t. The words “magnanimous” and “Donald Trump” go together like orgies and AIDS outbreaks.

As a guy who really wasn’t pleased with Hillary as a candidate and only voted for her to “do my part,” I have to say I’m actually impressed with the Clintons at this moment, regardless of their motivation. It takes a hell of a lot of courage to show up out of honor and principle to a ceremony that’s celebrating your historic, monumentally embarrassing upset loss. For whatever reasons that she lost, no can rightly say that Hillary Clinton doesn’t honor and care about the Great American Experiment; not when she’s willing to embarrass herself publicly again as the “loser” just to show the world we’re capable of doing this whole “transfer of power” thing correctly.

Then again, it shouldn’t shock people that Hillary’s attending; the candidate who gets the most votes usually does attend the inauguration.

But I don’t really, truly care about the Clintons’ motivation for attending. It truthfully doesn’t matter to me one iota why they’re doing it. I just know it’s going to make a lot of people who were screaming “LOCK HER UP!” with foam flying from their lips angry. I know it’s going to send them into a tizzy. I know it’s going to make them all bitterly angry and they’ll feel like the rubes they allowed themselves to be made when they voted for the grifter-elect.

Maybe seeing the Clintons at the inauguration will finally trigger in Trump voters a realization how badly they’ve been played. Maybe they’ll suddenly find themselves blinking up into a sun filled sky that’s illuminating the fact that not only is Trump not draining the swamp, he’s fortifying his cabinet with the ooziest ooze from it. Perhaps, when Trump lovers tune into Fox News and see Bill and Hillary sitting up on the dais, it’ll don on them — they waited eight years to take their country back, and they really just handed it over to a guy who will pretend to care about what they want, but ultimately not deliver on a single, solitary thing he promised them.




Perhaps, in their own way, the Clintons will be able to help strip the wool from Trump voters’ eyes, and the next four years he’ll be forced to govern from a far more honest, less self-enriching position.

Oh wait, I forgot we’re talking about Trumpolytes here. He can do no wrong to them. Because you know, that makes them different than the people they accused of trusting Obama no matter what and making excuses for his mistakes for the past eight years, right? So they’re probably all dumb enough to think Trump invited the Clintons to attend so he could have Hillary locked up. Hell, they probably will believe, if Alex Jones or Rush Limbaugh plants the seeds in their heads to such effect, that Bill will finally be arrested for murdering Vince Foster or whatever.


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

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About James Schlarmann 1085 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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