When It Comes To Team Trump, I Plan To Fight Fire With Fire And I Hope You Will Too

For as much as Trump conservatives make fun of and mock progressives over safe spaces, it really does seem like they’re the ones who are the most in need of them. And they have one. It’s the biggest one in the media landscape. It’s called Fox News. Apparently, they think Fox News extends to Twitter. It doesn’t.

I called Ann Coulter a “racist cunt” today on Twitter and that was wrong.

I should have called her a “racist KKKunt.”

Needless to say, the Angry Team Trump Trolls were out in full-force. I got the usual complaints of being a “foul-mouthed liberal.” I was accused of being racist myself…but not sure why since I live in a world where words have, like, meanings and shit, but I was called racist nonetheless.

Mostly I got called a “whiner” or a “baby” because Trump Lovers are under the impression that after eight years of their biggest tantrum in American politics ever, liberal Americans are just going to roll over and play nice with Trump. This is a guy who only won because of the arcane-as-fuck Electoral College, remember. More Americans don’t want him for their president than do, but apparently we’re the whiners for pointing this fact out.

Or for calling racist bags of collagen and bones “cunts.”

These are the people who made Obama targets and hung Obama in effigy for eight years. They called him all manner of dog whistle racist names and told us he didn’t hold “American values.” They never once accepted him as legitimate¬†even though unlike Trump, Obama won the popular vote both times by impressive margins.

Now is a great time for Republicans to look back and reflect on what total assholes they were to Obama for eight years. Republicans should¬†think about how they’ve been screaming for nearly a decade that they need to “take back” their country. Trump lovers would do themselves a favor if they tried to remember how well they “accepted” Obama. When¬†one of them tells me to “get over it” because their guy won fair and square, I laugh almost so hard as to watch my testicles fall from their scrotal home. They’re the ones who demanded a long form birth certificate from Obama because he’s black, but we’re the ones “whining.”

Okay.

It’s probably a really great time for them all to see that they took back their country¬†without the consent of the majority, or even the plurality of the people living in it.¬†Over one and a half million more Americans voted against Trump than for him. Let that sink in, Trumpytes.

Ann Coulter is a racist. She carps about Mexicans and tweets stories about violence in Latin American countries to imply that if Latin Americans came to this country, it will bring violence and mayhem. She has said horrible things about Native Americans and regularly laments the decline of white power in the United States. She is the pluperfect example of self-evident white supremacy.

Ann Coulter: Mexican culture “is obviously deficient,” and Hispanics are “not black, so drop the racism crap”

On Fusion’s “America with Jorge Ramos,” syndicated conservative columnist Ann Coulter promoted her new book ” Adios, America ” by repeatedly insulting not only everyone in the room and on the set, but their families, as well as the entire country of Mexico.

Did I have to call her a cunt? Of course not. I am sure that there are liberals who will hate me for doing so. That’s cool. I don’t give a fuck about them in the same way I don’t give a fuck about conservatives getting their panties wadded over my use of the word.

For years I’ve been called a “libtard,” “cuck,” and every other name you can think of. I’m tired of pretending liberals have to take some moral high ground. Michelle Obama wanted us to go high, and we did. Guess what? We still lost. For a whole number of reasons. The point¬†is very simple: the time for cowering in the corner is not now.




Trump and his minions have proposed banning and registering Muslims. They have floated knocking down Roe Vs. Wade in the Supreme Court, sending thousands of women into chaos and danger seeking a medical procedure that is their right to have performed in the first place. These are issues of vital importance to keeping the gains made in the last couple decades.

If there was ever a reason to fight fire with with fire, it’s the Trump administration and its agenda.

I really hope that progressives in this country remember the last Bush administration. We were called un-American and whiners then too. For all our uniting and giving him a chance, what did it get us? Thousands of dead bodies and a much fatter bank account for Dick Cheney and the financiers who tanked our economy. Conservatives are going to howl and wail at us for the next four years regardless to “get in line” behind our president, no matter what we say or do. See: The Dixie Chicks.

Fuck that.

Keep reminding yourselves: These are the same people who traded memes of the Obamas as gorillas¬†and they are the ones who held and still hold tightly to a racist rumor that Barack Obama wasn’t born in this country.

Does an eye for an eye leave everyone blind? I don’t know, I really don’t. Sure, calling Coulter a cunt is immature, but I’m not going to lull myself into being docile about racism, sexism, or xenophobia. Coulter is a champion of all those horrible things, no matter how much she hides it in a high-minded rhetorical sandwich. It’s still a shit sandwich and she wants you to gobble it all up.

Coulter’s free to say whatever the fuck she wants, and I’m free to call her a racist cunt for it every single time.¬†So guess what, Trump Lovers?

Eight years of calling Obama horrific names is going to bite you squarely in the ass, starting now. Donald Trump is a verified idiot, an empty vessel being played by and for corporatists and white nationalists. We see it. We’re awake. And as the popular vote counts bear out — we truly outnumber you. Add in the people who didn’t vote at all and you see a much different picture than “Trump¬†has a bigly¬†mandate.”

Trumpers are¬†about to get a really tough lesson in how the First Amendment works. I hope they enjoy the bumpy-as-fuck ride they¬†ensured would happen when they¬†put a pig-human in the White House. We’ve not yet begun to defy the Trump Doctrine. They¬†built this leaning tower of derp we call President-elect Trump; time for them to ride the elevator to Hell with us.¬†If you thought a polite admonishment from a Broadway musical’s cast was harsh and hard to deal with, the next four years are going to truly fucking suck for you.

Welcome to America, how may I help you?


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.rump

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About James Schlarmann 1452 Articles

Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.

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