Conspiracy Theorist Disputes Government’s Assertion That Right Lane Ends

An avid subscriber to numerous conspiracy theories is challenging the government’s claim, as stated in countless highway signs across the country, that right lanes actually end.

Alton Creel says the common signs stating “right lane ends,” as well as the ones depicting a graphic indicating the right lane ends, are what he calls “instruments of disinformation” erected by “Big Brother.”

“The government wants you to believe the right lane ends, but it doesn’t,” Creel claims. “The puppet masters have spent millions of dollars on these signs to get all the sheeple to merge into the left lane. Why? What are they hiding up ahead on the right?”

The 42-year-old divorcee — who frequents websites devoted to discussions about fluoridated water, “chemtrails,” and the “true perpetrators of 9/11” — insists the signs are a small part of a covert agenda to imprison “free-thinking” Americans like himself.

“The shadow government is threatened by truth-tellers like me,” Creel asserts. “They don’t want people to know the real truth about who’s controlling everything and their plan for forcing Americans to comply with their totalitarian New World Order. That’s why they want everyone to believe the right lane ends.”

Creel posits that the real reason for the signs is to prevent citizens from stumbling across passages to secret prisons built by the Department of Homeland Security to house Americans who pose a threat to the “globalist agenda.”

“They want all the sheeple to merge left, not because the right lanes end, but because the right lanes actually lead to hidden paths to the FEMA camps where the Illuminati will imprison American citizens when they declare martial law,” Creel claims.

Creel asserts the roadways to the clandestine “FEMA camps” are hidden by highly advanced cloaking technology developed by an alien reptilian species of shape-shifters that has infiltrated the federal government.

Republished from The Red Shtick.



About Jeremy White 49 Articles
Jeremy White is an engineer by education, but a smartass by birth, who refused to let his technical background stand in the way of his dream of making fun of people. He's the founder and publisher of the satirical and irreverent humor site
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