You’d probably never guess it after reading my satirical or non-satirical shit — but I was actually born and raised into a Christian household. Though I haven’t been a member of any congregation for a couple decades now, I can say looking back on my time on this planet that my early Bible-learnin’ actually had a profound impact on how I view some key issues politically. Namely, the idea long-haired hippie socialist Jesus Hubert Christ championed of being at our most gracious and kind to the ones in society treated with the least humanity.
Jesus washed people’s feet. Jesus hung out with whores — who unlike today weren’t represented by the overwhelming majority of people in Congress. He spent time with lepers, which back in his day I guess was a really huge deal. Basically, if you believe the dude existed, he was an original SJW if ever there was one.
“What’s an SJW,” you ask? A “social justice warrior,” or in the world of alt-right Alpha Males, a “cuck.” This term comes from the word “cuckold” which means someone else fucking your wife. In the porn world, the overwhelming majority of “cuck” porn deals with a big, scary black man fucking a white woman in front of her husband. In other words, it’s some fairly racist shit.
I’ve never been one to shy away from championing the idea of Agape Love when it comes to social politics. Call me crazy, but in a country where we profess to love the idea of “freedom” so much that a large number of us actually behave as if it’s an American-made product and uniquely so, it makes sense to treat everyone the same. That way, we have maximum liberty and freedom with minimal invasion from the government, which you’d think would align me nicely with libertarians, except it doesn’t, not to the ones who exist on the alt-right part of the political spectrum anyway.
There’s something I’ve noticed; a phenomenon if you will. Having a vaguely Jewish sounding last name (even if you’ve never been a Jew) and a pro-social justice opinion will invariably get you called a “cuck” on social media. The implication being that only a subservient, not masculine Beta male would care if women are paid equally for the same exact work. Only a pussy, to the cuck caller, would ever see a spate of black suspects killed by cops in situations where white people usually survive, and act as if that’s an issue worth addressing.
At first, being called a cuck bounced off me like water off a duck’s back. I was a cuck duck. But after time, their attacks started to hurt. I wanted to care about LGBTQ+ rights, racial equality, and be a champion of the underdog because that seemed really American to me. But on the other hand, did that mean my wife was going to start fucking other dudes…other black dudes? I mean, I’m not racist so I don’t have any earthly care about whether or not she had in the past, but surely I don’t want my wife fucking other dudes regardless of their skin tone now…so this made me do some deep soul searching.
As it turns out, after being called a “cuck” one million times, I suddenly felt differently. Their highly intellectual logic and reasoning broke through. I was a total cuck. And in order to keep my wife’s vagina James-specific, I knew some tough choices were going to have to be made.
That’s when I realized I didn’t care about protecting the downtrodden in society as much as I cared what a bunch of Anglo-European Nationalists that have a weird obsession with anime think about my masculinity! What good is it to fight for the ones who need a larger voice, if you’re just a beta male cuck? Sure, those words really don’t mean anything to people who are actually secure in their manhood. And yeah, I guess if you’re getting technical it probably says a lot more about them projecting their own internal feelings of inadequacy, but who cares?
I don’t want to be called a cuck anymore, because I’m so truly terrified of my wife fucking a black guy to get back at me…or whatever the shit reason they have for calling people cucks.
Sure, I could continue caring about people, even when my situation and life circumstances are vastly different than theirs. Sure, I could keep right on being a champion of the underdog, whether it’s women, LGBTQ+ rights, or racial equality. I could even, in fact, go right on with the rest of my life truly empathizing with people going through much tougher things than I am. But, well, I was called a cuck all those times, and God only knows that if there’s anything you don’t want to be, it’s labeled as a “cuck” by people who wouldn’t know what do with an actual vagina if it was in front of them, giving clear and concise instructions on what exactly needs to be done with it.
Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.