David Duke (KKK-LA) Looking to Run for Congress

Since we all know every single race issue in the United States is President Obama’s fault, then it stands to reason we must blame him for David Duke’s sudden desire to don his white robe and jump back into politics. Duke has decided to challenge the current Representative and Majority Whip Stephen Scalise (R-LA), who as the self described “David Duke without the baggage” is no longer enough of a white supremacist dick to satisfy Duke.

Scalise’s denouncement and his vote to ban Confederate flags in Veterans Administration cemeteries has earned him Duke’s ire.

“He crawled on his hands and his knees to the black caucus. This should not stand,” Duke said. source

The former Grand Wizard made his decision after a colored shot and killed five Aryan Gun Toting Knights of Holy White Jesus in Dallas. He takes no pleasure whatsoever in having been right, but he has no problem repeatedly pointing out that he was correct.

“Unless European Americans stand up, they are going to lose everything they care about in this country.”

Duke sees 2016 as his year to win against “sellout Steve Scalise” because of new racial tensions.

“There are millions of people across the country who would like to have me in the Congress. I’d be the only person in Congress openly defending the rights and the heritage of European Americans,” he said. “We are on the offensive today. There’s no more defenses.”

He refers to himself as a “racial realist”, which must be bullshittery-ease for “psychotic racist fucknugget”. His main campaign platform is a repeal of the 1965 Immigration and Naturalization Act, because it did away with race-based quotas. The horror!



It should come as no big surprise that Duke is a YUGE fan of Donald Trump, who he not only endorsed, but he also would love to serve under. And probably literally; this guy is whack. He gives himself credit for everything Trump says, although he doesn’t feel Trump goes far enough. He is hyper-critical of Newt, calling him a “cuck” and a “sell-out”. He really got butt-hurt when old Newt sold out the entire white race and spread liberal propaganda about the darks facing discrimination.

He comforts himself by snuggling up with his 800 thread count Egyptian cotton white sheet each night, repeating the mantra that Trump would tap him for his running mate if it weren’t for Trump’s fear of “offending the oligarchs”, which Duke calls “the political establishment he said is controlled by Jewish, Hispanic and African American interests.”

On the plus side, we would never have to worry about this guy using a sheriff’s star. He’d put up Stars of David everywhere and call them what they are. Jeebus Christ on a Biscuit how is this guy even relevant and why doesn’t he live in Mississippi? I thought we had the market cornered on the racist Klan members here. Dear Louisiana, I am so terribly sorry for your suffering. At least our crazy cross-burners don’t scream so loudly through a megaphone. We like to say they’re kkklassy.

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About Renee Webb 322 Articles
Renee is a recovering Conservative who lives at the intersection of the Bible Belt and the Hypocrisy Highway.
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