Dear President-Elect Whiny Bitch: You Birther Trolled Obama For Years. Buckle Up, It’s Your Turn Now.

I’m getting really sick and tired of being called a “special snowflake” by people who elected the most thin-skinned, childish, weak, mealy-mouthed, cry baby, whiny bitch boy ever to the highest office in the land. Donald Trump is a spoiled, self-entitled little duck snort of a man, and you can tell by the way that he complains, moans, and whines every time someone criticizes him. Take for instance, a tweet he just sent today, trying to elicit sympathy because that mean ol’ Barack Obama keeps talking about the bewigged bastard in chief-elect, and that’s hurting Donald’s sensitive wittle fee-fees.

I think someone should bend the orange shit stain’s ear and remind him that he taunted and trolled Obama mercilessly for years over whether Obama was born in America. For Chrissakes, Trump hired a team to go and investigate Obama’s birth certificate. At least that’s what Trump said he did, so let’s be honest, that could be a complete and utter lie, like so much of what comes out of his puckered asshole of a mouth. But at least in public, out loud, he reportedly pushed a conspiracy theory about Barack Obama that was rooted wholly and completely in racism.

It should also be stated that it’s a very safe bet that Obama would have indeed cleaned Trump’s clock. Obama has a 57% approval rating as an outgoing president. That is, to borrow a phrase from Trump, completely “unpresidented.” The orange fuckface’s approval rating is currently 41%, the lowest of any incoming commander in chief, ever. So yeah, Donny, the black guy would have whipped you something fierce, sorry to break it to you.

What the fuck does Sad Sack really have to complain about here? And why are all of his lapdog sycophants so butthurt over Obama, or anyone who didn’t vote for Trump, giving that spray tanned fuhrer his comeuppance? Did no one actually sit Little Lord Mar-a-Lago down and warn him that every president, no matter who it is, has had to be the target of scorn, ridicule, and derision by the people who didn’t vote for him? Did not a single person who allegedly cares about the alleged billionaire warn him that being constantly scrutinized and critiqued is part of the bargain you make when you say you want to be the most powerful man in the free world?

As far as I’m concerned, if Barack Obama stays in Washington, D.C., as he has indicated he will, he’s entitled to troll Trump every single day for as long as the diarrhea face-elect tormented Obama about his birth status.

Donald Trump is a bully. He is not anything but a bully. That’s actually why he was elected; the people who did so like bullies. At least they like bullies when they’re beating up on poor people and spouting bullshit they believe as truth like “cutting taxes for the rich will trickle down wealth on the plebs.” Like most bullies, when you push his buttons back, he melts. Mr. Trump deserves every single bit of criticism, scorn, derision and pushback he receives. He’s an arrogant, self-aggrandizing conman and it’s not my fault, nor anyone else’s, for being able to see the overgrown toddler for who he is.

Just imagine what it’s going to be like the next four years. Trump is going to retweet and throw a tantrum over every single op-ed on every website in the country. Bloggers will be made famous by the most powerful man in the world throwing a hissy fit about them making fun of him. Again, though, remember over the next however-long-it-takes-him-to-quit-or-be-thrown-out, that this is the man who relentlessly pursued and promulgated a racist lie about President Obama, but remember that Obama’s not the only one he’s picked on over the years.

Ask Rosie O’Donnell about what a bully he is. Ask the disabled reporter who he mocked on the campaign trail this year. Ask every single Mexican American and Mexican immigrant who was called a rapist, murderer, or drug dealer by Trump simply by virtue of their nationality. Trump has literally made a second career for himself as a snide, antagonistic bully, and I’m already sick and fucking tired of his martyr routine. I’ve had it with his equivocation, and I’m done with his obfuscation of his own worthless reputation.

It’s not our faults that a thin-skinned troglodyte was elected by a scared, ignorant mass of people who truly think the federal government, and people precisely like Donald Trump, are the ones who have kept them from having better opportunities in life. If Republicans wanted to have their president respected, they probably should’ve ratcheted back the anger, hostility, and hand-wringing, foamy-mouthed bullshit conspiracy mongering just a tad over the last eight years. Because there is a fundamental difference between Trump and Obama, and that’s mostly in that Obama is a person of character (inb4 lolbertarian finger wagging over drones and shit that we all know suck but still don’t make Obama worse than Trump on any level).

Bullies deserve to be punished for their bullying. You don’t punish a bully by ignoring him. You don’t punish a bully by letting him get away with shit he’d never let anyone get away with. Taking the high road doesn’t preclude anyone from mocking Trump, especially when the moron considers quoting him directly a form of mocking and using pictures of his own goofy mug as insulting and unflattering.

A lot of things are going to outright suck the next four years, but one thing that won’t? Counter-trolling the biggest, most orange, least qualified, and least popular president of all time. The Golden Rule works both ways, Republicans, and for eight years you’ve shit all over it.

It’s the left’s turn to do the defecating now. Grab a fork. And a knife. And a bowl.

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.



About James Schlarmann 1481 Articles
James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.
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