The Democrats Plan to Fuck with Eight Cabinet Nominees

Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer has graciously informed Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell that the Democrats may be in the minority, but they have zero fucks left to give about Trump’s insane cabinet picks. Therefore they plan to slow this process down and keep the Republicans from ramming their whackjob regulating billionaires down our throats.

Schumer gave a statement where he said the President-elect was trying to hire rich ass white people who’ve made a freaking fortune off the very industries they are now supposed to be in charge of, and by the way, most of them are opposed to Trump’s scampaign promises, too!

He continued telling it like it is: Any attempt by the GOP to rush this shit through before the inauguration, before everybody’s had a chance to learn all the fun and incriminating stuff about them, ain’t gonna happen. There will be a fair hearing for all, and fucking deal bitches. (WaPo)

The Eight

1, Rex Tillerson, Secretary of State: The CEO of Exxon has a bromance with Putin, but led Exxon’s public change of heart on climate change. He strangely supports a carbon tax, but he is also in favor of the Paris climate agreement. (NYT)

2. Jeff Sessions, Attorney General: The racist is having a problem supplying all his records, claiming the dog ate his homework, even though others have been able to locate many of them online. It’s unclear if he’s lying, confused, or just incompetent. (CNN)

3. Mick Mulvaney, Office of Management and Budget: This one gives speeches to a group that believes gold and silver are the only legal tender, owns quite a bit of it himself, and thinks bitcoin is the way of the future. He is critical of the Fed for “devaluing” the dollar, and likely has a stash of precious metals under his mattress. Jeez. (BusIns)


4. Betsy Devos, Secretary of Education: Her Education experience consists of throwing money at voucher programs. Separation of church and state was Founding Fathers’ satire. (WaPo)

5. Tom Price, Dept. Health & Human Services: He’s been trading in medical stocks directly impacted by legislation he’s working on, but no biggie. Even though he’s a doctor, he hates patients; he wants to privatize most government insurance, make HSAs even bigger, and burn the Hippocratic Oath in the streets. His bedside manner is likely deplorable. (NPR)

6. Andrew Puzder, Labor Secretary: This head of CKE runs Carl’s Jr. and goddamn Hardee’s, which has the best biscuits…anyway he’s against a minimum wage, so he’s not winning friends or influencing people. Big Labor is pissing its pants. (Forbes)

7. Steve Mnuchin, Treasury Secretary: Goldman Sachs executive. But speeches, amirite?

8. Scott Pruitt, EPA: He hates the EPA and sues them every chance he gets. He loves fossil fuels and coal, which is good, because that’s all Santa leaves him every year.

In a beautiful moment of irony, the Republicans released a statement lamenting how they had been super nice and cooperative about President Obama’s cabinet picks, so they just don’t understand why sticking out their bottom lips isn’t getting them anywhere with Democrats. Boohoo.

The biggest issue has actually been a familiar one, lack of disclosure including tax returns, and receipt of certification from an important federal office. Lack of cooperation and organization are key issues here, and that should be noted twice.

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About Renee Webb 299 Articles
Renee is a recovering Conservative who lives at the intersection of the Bible Belt and the Hypocrisy Highway.
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