Deranged Christian Pastor Rick Wiles: Rosie Jetson is Going to Eat You All!

Rick Wiles, the complete whackadoodle nutjob of right-winged radio, explained yet another of his deranged conspiracy theories on his show “TruNews” Monday to his guest, Steve Quayle. (The same Steve Quayle who believes ninety percent of humanity will be destroyed by the global elite through birth control, Ebola and the Zika virus.) After ingesting what must have been an unholy dose of the wacky tobacky, two full hours were devoted to talking about giants, cannibalism, and the Tribulation. Wiles at one point warned his listeners that “the hatred of Christians will become so great in the Last Days that people will be encouraged to kill and eat them.” Of course The Government will be at fault for this, nevermind ninety-two percent of Congress identifies as Christian. I personally think it will be the work of those crazy Methodists and Rosie Jetson.

One of his sources comes from a Wired Magazine article from 2009, “Military Researchers Develop Corpse Eating Robots.” In it, scientists reveal the Defense Department is working on robots that refuel themselves with biomatter from the environment, specifically plants, but which could maybe, possibly include decaying flesh. Obviously they did not count on Wiles reading the article before they mentioned that last part.

Researchers seem to get a kick out of ensuring the demise of the human species, so the project is called the Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot, or EATR. Wired.com readers looking to save time and trouble are invited to begin marinating themselves in a mix of 10W30 and Heinz 57 Sauce immediately.

Of course Rick Wiles took this out of context and as literally as possible, so he tied it back to his argument as supporting evidence for his insane claim. He sure as hell wasn’t getting it out of the Bible, except maybe the tiny part about the Tribulation.



“Our military is developing an army of human flesh-eating robots,” Wiles warned. “If you do not conform to the requirements of this new society, they’re going to send a robot to your house to eat you for lunch. That may sound extremely radical, but that’s where they’re taking it. They will reduce the human population. You will conform!” (RWW)

It sounds like Rick Wiles has mixed up The Jetsons, The Matrix, I, Robot, the Borg from Star Trek, and perhaps a couple words from the Book of Revelation. Perhaps he expects Rosie to drop her dusting and chase after Neo, while yelling, “Resistance is futile!” Will Smith drops in at the last second and saves the planet from absolute destruction, but only those who are most worthy. All the bad guys get eaten alive by the evil housecleaning bot and her floor cleaning Roomba buddies!

Dear Lord what will he come up with next? We watched Jetsons the Movie over the weekend, and no matter how hard I try, I just cannot picture the loving Rosie I grew up with turning into an evil vampire cannibalizing robot who kills me and then dines on my flesh. Ick!

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About Renee Webb 317 Articles
Renee is a recovering Conservative who lives at the intersection of the Bible Belt and the Hypocrisy Highway.
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