You’re Allowed To Care About The DNC’s Corruption AND Not Want Donald Trump To Win

This should probably go without saying, but since we live in extraordinarily insane times and the DNC is doing everything it can to sabotage itself, I figured it might be good to spell out anyway. So here it goes:

You are allowed to both care about the corruption at the Democratic National Committee and not want Donald Trump to win the election.

You’re going to hear from the rah-rah Democrat types that caring about what WikiLeaks released makes you an agent of Trump. Some will try to be nice and just insult your intelligence with, “Whether you know it or not, you’re acting like you want Donald Trump to win!” Others will just outright accuse you of wanting Trump to win with, “You just hate Hillary so much you want Trump now!”

Let me be crystal clear: Fuck Donald Trump with someone else’s dick, okay?

He’s a piece of shit, and he’s not worthy of the office. Even though to this point I am still committed to not vote for Hillary (unless the polls in California tighten up), that doesn’t mean I’m in favor of Trump winning, that I think Hillary belongs behind bars, or that ultimately I think Hillary would be “bad” for the country. I’m so sick and fucking tired of people acting there isn’t any margin for nuance in the political world.

I’m not voting for her because I am afforded the chance to do so in California without handing the election to Trump, and that’s it.

The DNC doesn’t deserve a pass for rigging the primary on some level. They colluded to ignore the voices of many millions of people who just wanted a clean and honest contest. Why couldn’t they let Sanders lose strictly on the merits of the votes, and why did they have to use tactics that if the RNC had used them, we’d all be clucking over?

I was never one of those Bernie guys who thought nefarious shit like voter machine tampering was going on. In fact, all the WikiLeaks story did was confirm what I had assumed was the case — Clinton was the heavily favored candidate among those in power at the DNC, and they did literally everything they could do (and thought of a few really gross things they didn’t go through with) to make Bernie Sanders look like electoral dog shit.

But just because we had a truth confirmed for us, and it wasn’t some brand spanking new revelation, that doesn’t mean it’s not important. Just because that truth was brought to our doorsteps because of likely Russian hacking, that doesn’t make it any less truthful. We don’t have to ignore the corruption at the DNC. We can address it and also keep Trump out of office. It is, after all, possible to walk and chew gum at the same time.

Before you say it — no, I’m not going to turn this into a “C’mon guys, Bernie can still be the nominee!” piece. I’m also not going to imply that if you still vote for Hillary you are a horrible human. I get it. Donald Trump is a scary motherfucker because we can’t tell how real his stupidity is, and how much is an act to make him look relatable to his base.

So vote for Hillary if you want to; God only knows I’d be holding my nasal passages shut tight and doing the same thing with you if I didn’t think I could literally vote for my cock and it wouldn’t have any impact on Clinton winning this state in walking away.



So what am I saying?

I don’t know, honestly.

On the one hand, yes, I would love it if everyone decided that we can wait another few years to install our first female president and nominate a guy who would still whip the pants off of Trump if it means we’re not continuing to reward shitty, corrupt behavior. I’m a clown, but I’m a realistic one. I know that the majority of Sanders supporters will vote for Hillary because of the Trump Factor alone, and that’s fine.

I guess what I’m writing this for is just so that we all have an “eyes wide open” moment together. We need to know going into this thing just who we are voting for, and I mean that from the top down, and all throughout not only Clinton’s team, but the Democratic National Committee. Oh wait, I already said “Hillary’s Team.” Sorry for being redundant there.

We have to be willing to admit that that what the DNC did was undemocratic. Of course it was. You can equivocate with all your “private organizations” and “they should protect their best interests” talking points you want to. But the truth, the unbiased truth, is that how they behaved this primary season runs counter to the idea of a level playing field. And even if what they did wasn’t illegal, it was bone-headedly stupid letting the information fall into the wrong hands and it was pretty idiotic to be having those conversations via traceable emails anyway, wasn’t it?

Clearly if the choice is ONLY between Clinton and Trump, Clinton is the much better option. I don’t live in a place where I am so limited, though. And therefore, this Wikileaks scandal just validates my view that a vote for Hillary is a vote for a future not that much better than we have now. Then again, a vote for Trump is a vote for a future much, much worse than the present, so again, I’ll be watching those polls very closely, and should it go shit-house, I’ll just bring along a rag so I can wipe the vomit from the floor boards after I get done voting for Clinton.

Oh wait, I vote mail-in. So I’ll just puke in a bucket before I sent my ballot in. Corruption sucks, no matter how scary the guy in the other party is. So if you decide to vote for Hillary because you either need to or want to, I hope you’ll at least be intellectually honest enough to admit her primary victory is so tainted it warrants a serious reformation of the DNC. If not, then please don’t complain to any of us who want that when you find out their corruption is deeper still.

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About James Schlarmann 1446 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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