Donald Trump Jr. is the Stupidest Fucking Moron in a Family Lousy With Fucking Morons

Being the dumbest dodo in a family full of dumb dodos must not be very easy to do. I imagine it’s like climbing a sewer ladder, covered in shit and stupid. So before I exhaust a few hundred words pummeling Donald Trump Jr. as the Stupidest Fucking Moron in a Family of Lousy With Fucking Morons, let us pause to give credit where it is due. It really is a crowning achievement for President Trump’s oldest son to plumb the depths of the Trump Klan’s moronic nature and become the King of the Stupids. It was an “accomplishment” for him much in the way that the final chunk of projectile vomit that spatters your toilet after a night of heavy drinking is an accomplishment for chunks for chunks of vomit.

It is unavoidable, self-evident truth that Donald Trump Jr. is a fucking moron. If you don’t believe me, just follow him on Twitter for a few days and watch the Breitbarbarian bullshit flow from his tweets like the inanity and egomanical pabulum that his father extols on a daily basis on the same platform. In fact, you don’t even have to follow him, because the dipshit left one of his stupidest tweets of all time up, one he sent last night during the festivities of Halloween, trying to “burn” liberals.

To wit, or in Junior’s case to “unwit” —

Donald Trump Jr. on Twitter

I’m going to take half of Chloe’s candy tonight & give it to some kid who sat at home. It’s never to early to teach her about socialism.

 

Your. Fucking. Daughter. Didn’t. Earn. That. Candy. You. Overbitten. Sack. Of. Racist. Gun Toting. Shit.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that a member of the Trump Organized Crime Family would try to teach their little crotch fruit how to take credit for getting something for free that you had nothing to do with, and then lord that over a poor person’s head. That is literally what those blue blooded, aristocratic miscreants have been doing for decades. Their charities are so misanthropic they literally rip money out of the hands of kids with cancer. So of course Dumbfuck Junior would try to teach his kid a lesson about economics with an object lesson that literally is the opposite of what he’s trying to teach her.

Why would Don Jr. acknowledge the fact that his daughter, like every other kid on Halloween, is trading on the kindness of everyone, the giving and charitable nature of people they don’t know, to get something that benefits them in return. It’s not “socialism” since there aren’t any means of production to seize, but to conflate getting dressed up as Spider-Man or Wonder Woman is the same as working a job and getting paid for it is so stupid as to be something that Donald Trump Jr. would say.

No matter how you slice it, Halloween Trick or Treating is an act of charitable giving. It’s much, much closer to socialism than it ever would be to capitalism. If we were having our kids go out and gather candy so that we could buy it from them so we could turn around and resell it, then that fuckface with an overbite would have a valid object lesson. But literally all you’re doing when you take your kid out in a costume is walking them up to stranger’s doors and asking them for free shit.

And the thing is, as stupid as Don Jr. is, imagine how fucking stupid you’d have to be to hear that dumb analogy and go, “Yeah, you fuckin’ libtards! Take that!” Because that’s what Trumpers do day in and day out. Critical thinking is the tool of the elitist liberal, the brainwashed stooge that’s a byproduct of government educations. So as gob smackingly stupid as Junior is, just multiple his dumbness by a factor of a squintillion, and that’s how stupid people who think he made a good point with this dumb tweet.

Even if you discount the fact that Don Jr.’s little attempt at a lesson in economics doesn’t remotely come close to that, you still get to criticize him for just being a petty dick to his daughter. No, I don’t think he actually ripped away half her candy. But the fact that he thinks it’s HILARIOUS to imply he would to cram some bullshit Trickle Down nonsense into her cranium shows how sick, stupid, and inane he really is.

So what’s the point in all of this?

Fuck Donald Trump Jr. is the point. And I don’t think we really need another one beyond that. So go enjoy your day, knowing that you’re not a cold-hearted, stupid fuck like Donald Trump Jr. I’ll leave you with the following tweet that someone replied to his Royal Moronness with, which I think perfectly sums up why he’s such a douchebag.

The Hoarse Whisperer on Twitter

@DonaldJTrumpJr …or, you could tell her you’re taking it to help kids with cancer but then leave a wrapper trail so she can learn how Trump charities work

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About James Schlarmann 1446 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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