Donald Trump Posts a “Get to Know Me” Game on Facebook

*satire*

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee, D-Grade reality-TV star, and amateur wig designer Donald J. Trump recently posted what some have called “Get to Know Me” game on his Facebook page. The games were made popular by MySpace, an ancient predecessor to Facebook from the EARLY 2000’s (eww!)

FakeTrumpScreenShot

Below are Trump’s responses, unedited.

Six names I go by
1. Donald
2. Donnie
3. The Donald
4. HUGE Hands
5. Fuckface
6. Mr. Trump

Four places I’ve lived
1. New York, NY
2. Your mom’s house when I was fuckin’ her (lol)
3. Anywhere but Rape Land, AKA Mexico.
4. The Fourth Ring of Hell

Four things I love to watch on TV:
1. Me
2. My speeches
3. “The Apprentice”
4. Old videotapes of me masturbating to videotapes of “The Apprentice” (just the parts where I say, “You’re fired.”

Four places I have visited
1. Your mom’s house when I was fuckin’ her (callback lol)
2. All the best places
3. Washington D.C.
4. Your mom’s house the second time I was fuckin’ her (power of three lol)

Four things I love to eat
1. The souls of the living.
2. Caviar pizza (with a fuckin’ fork, cuz duh!)
3. Your mom (never not funny)
4. Hamburger.

Five people I think will respond and hopefully be fun.
1. Crooked Hillary
2. Comrade Jewey McOldguy
3. My SUPER HOT DAUGHTER!
4. That gold robot from the Star Track movies
5. Me. I always have the BEST Facebook status game answers.

Favorite drink
1. The blood of my enemies
2. The blood of my enemas
3. Only the finest champagne from the best wineries in France.
4. The douche water running through my veins.
Now here is what you’re supposed to do. Please don’t spoil the fun…. copy and paste this in your status and update it with your responses.

 

The post has subsequently been deleted. A Tweet from Mr. Trump explained that his campaign advisers felt he “mighta kept it too real.”

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About James Schlarmann 1446 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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