Dumb Tammy Lahren Thinks Everyone Who Burns a Flag is on Welfare

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it until I can’t breathe or type any longer: Tammy Lahren is either bone chillingly stupid, racist, or both. I know, not a very brave or bold take, given her history of saying dumb shit like the KKK and Black Lives Matter are remotely the same, or after her incessant whining about Colin Kaepernick’s First Amendment expression before NFL games. Every day it seems that the motor-mouthed vapid dipshit finds a new career-low to sink to, and today isn’t any exception.

In the wee small hours of the morning, Tammy tweeted this gem:

Tomi Lahren on Twitter

If you’re okay setting fire to the American flag I hope you’re also setting fire to your American taxpayer-funded welfare check.

It really does confuse me that Lahren is popular. She’s a basic blonde racist talking point machine. The right already had Laura Ingraham and Ann Coulter for that. I guess, though, maybe they needed a fresh clone because Coulter and Ingraham are getting older and they need someone to carry on the rich tradition of wrapping the most vile, horrific, ignorant, short-sighted, hateful rhetoric in a package with tits and blonde hair.

But it really boggles my mind that Tumor is considered an intellectual thinker. I mean, look, I’m a clown. I’m a comedian. I’m just as at home making jokes about my dick and farts as I am anything, and I don’t pretend to be a highly-educated policy wonk. That being said, it took my comedian brain all of a millisecond to find the utterly obvious fatal flaw in her tweet which I guess she’s trying to pass off as a “thought.” And that flaw is…

Not everyone who has burned the American flag has been on welfare.

And that’s it. I mean, really, truly. That’s all you need to debunk Tabasco on this one. I know it sounds crazy, that a single sentence that literally just states a very obvious fact could eviscerate such a well thought out argument as the one that Tumblr tweeted, but it’s true. Her argument is so paper thing that literally the first person who burns an American flag that isn’t on welfare utterly and completely obliterates her stupid talking point.




Of course, we all know the image that Traveler’s Checks was trying to evoke, right? We all know that when motor-mouthed conservative shills say the word “welfare” to their audience there’s a very specific racial subset they’re trying to evoke in their minds. So if you can imagine, Toll Booth’s tweet is even more offensive and stupid because clearly in her mind when you tell her that someone is burning a flag, she sees a black man doing it. Probably while wearing a pro-BLM shirt.

Even if we give Tuberculosis the benefit of the doubt and say she’s not being racist and didn’t mean to imply that all those moochin’ blacks are burning flags, we still are left with the unassailable notion that she’s fucking beyond stupid. Because no matter how you slice it, no matter which angle you look at her diabolically stupid tweet from, you still come back to the same, inevitable conclusion.

Not everyone who has burned the American flag has been on welfare.

Then again, we haven’t even remotely scratched the surface here. Tullamore Dew is like so many arch conservatives when it comes to flag burning. She doesn’t grasp the fundamental truth, that it’s a healthy expression of anger and outrage toward your government. And here’s the kicker — there’s this amendment in our Constitution that protects the living dick out of it, too. Every time it’s gotten to the Supreme Court, even conservative tilted ones, the people who actually study the Constitution instead of screech about it on TV uphold that concept. We’ve found yet one more reason to classify this monumentally stupid tweet as The Dumbest Fucking Thing Ever Tweeted in the History of the Planet.

So yeah, fuck Travesty Lorenzo and her bargain basement, basic bitch talking points. Forever. And now, this article in short video form:

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About James Schlarmann 1433 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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