I’m In Facebook Jail For 30 Days Because Facebook Protects Nazis More Than Free Speech

Part of the deal with being an independent writer/comedian in the Social Media age is helping people run various Facebook pages. I have been “working ” on various pages for a few years now. One such page I help out on is called “Wipeout Racism Online.”

When that page was recently the target of a concentrated troll attack from a group of racist, antisemitic Trump supporters, I got my personal account banned for 30 days as a result of the flame war they started. Why? Because even though they were bombarding the page with racist memes, I’m the one who got in trouble because I called them “racist cunts” and “fucking Nazis.”

Here’s one example of the kinds of shit they were spamming every post on the page with:

And here’s another one:

And another…

And another…

And finally, just one more.

A page called “Cult of Kek” is who sent the Nazi trolls our way, and there’s apparently also a group or two with the same name.

The group and page cater to the kinds of people who put “Deplorable” in front of their Twitter names. They post Pepe the Frog memes, but not the lovable ones. They post the ones where Pepe’s in a Nazi Uniform, gassing Jews. Because you know, it’s funny to mock the holocaust and imply another one’s coming to America. Though, I guess if these fucks even acknowledge the Holocaust happened that’s a step in the right direction.

Nazis like these guys huddle up and intimidate people, trying to make it look like they have bigger numbers than they do. They swarmed the anti-racism page, and here’s a screenshot of the call to swarm and report it, from one of their closed Facebook groups, which resulted in my being banned for 30 days.

The tears are so salty. 😂

The tears are so salty. 😂

I lost count of how many people I banned for posting memes showing Jews in ovens, grotesque Jewish caricatures being put in the cross hairs of sniper rifles, anti-black, anti-Hispanic, and anti-Islamic memes and rhetoric. One was an open call for violence which had to be reported to Dartmouth University police since the user was a student there. That’s how bad it was.

So at some point I got fed up with it and started trolling them back, and indeed, I used potty language. So I was suspended overnight. The guys who call us “beta cucks” for not using the N word got so triggered by me cussing them out, that they initiated a mass reporting and got my shit put in Facebook jail for a month.

Let that sink in.

People spewing actual Nazi propaganda mass reported me because I used potty words, and I’m the one who suffered the consequences. Not the people absolutely spamming a page with horrific imagery, racist rhetoric, and utter, contemptible hate. I guess it’s pretty safe to say that Facebook at this point wants to protect Nazis more than freedom of speech, and yes, calling a Nazi a “fucking cunt” is the pluperfect example of free speech.

Did we all somehow forget how we feel about Nazis?

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Phew! At least Indy and I are on the same page still!

Isn’t it beyond hilarious that the people who swore at Nazis are the ones punished, not the Nazis? I’m not going to spend hours banning trolls without having a little fun bashing them verbally. If Facebook’s terms of service are such that Nazis are free to swarm pages, but page owners and administrators can’t fight back, then fuck Facebook’s terms of service for coddling asshole-racist-Nazi-dick-faces.

Facebook is absolutely notorious for this kind of idiocy. Why? Because they’re such a large platform that they can’t afford to hire real humans to screen the complaints they get, so they try to work their algorithms to the point that they can reasonably assess a complaint and take appropriate action. This is not my first time in Facebook jail, as indicated by the 30 day suspension. So I’ve been through this dog and pony show before.

It would be one thing if I had gone to other pages and picked fights. Admittedly, I’ve done that in the past. You can call that “trolling,” I get it. The difference between me and most trolls though is that I’m not anonymous and I will always cop to trolling when I’m doing it. But that’s not what happened here. Nazi nerds instigated a blitzkrieg on a page I help out on, and I got sick of their bullshit and responded back.

This case demonstrates how whack it is for Facebook to try and police the decorum of their community with an algorithm. On what planet is it more acceptable for Nazis to bombard a venue with hate messaging than it is to tell those Nazis to fuck off and eat a dick? It’s nonsensical to the point of being fucking farcical.

It’s been awhile, but I wanted to tap into my old sketch comedy days and demonstrate through a very brief script why Facebook fucked up so stupidly by suspending my personal account.

A man in a Nazi uniform walks into a bar called “We Accept All Races, Religions And Creeds.” The Nazi goes up to the stage in the bar, and taps on the microphone a couple times, testing to make sure it was turned on.

NAZI: Fuck Jews! I want to burn all the Jews! And niggers too! Fuck niggers. Pretty much fuck everyone who’s not white. Did you know black people are more likely to commit crime because they’re black and natural selection has made their bone density a little higher? Also, babies are totally racist in their hearts. And, again, fuck Jews, niggers, faggots, Mexicans, immigrants in general, Muslims, and of course Jew-Nigger-Faggot-Mexican-immigrant-Muslims.

BOUNCER: Fuck you, Nazi cunt! You’re not allowed in here. Get out!

The Nazi runs outside, tells a bunch of his Nazi friends about being called a “Nazi cunt” and so he and all his Nazi friends go down to the police station. They convince the sheriff to come down to the bar.

NAZI: Officer, remove this man from this bar! He called me a cunt!

OFFICER: Okay, you got to me first and there were more of you that reported this, so you win. Hey, also, nice Swastika you painted on the door out there. Good, clean, straight lines.

The officer physically removes the bouncer.

Does that sketch seem stupid to you? Of course it does. So, the takeaway here, is that to Facebook, their algorithm at least, it’s way worse to cuss out a Nazi than it is to be a Nazi. And to borrow a phrase from their Orange Führer:


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.




About James Schlarmann 1076 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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