Fellow Berners: Please Chill. Liz Warren Is Still Our Friend

Dudes and Lady Dudes of the Bernie Court —

Everyone, can we please not freak out about Senator Elizabeth Warren endorsing Hillary Clinton? Yes it’s disappointing she didn’t endorse Sanders. But if you stop focusing on the fact that she endorsed Clinton for a moment and listen to what she also said about Sanders in the same interview with Rachel Maddow, you’ll hear effusive praise for Bernie, his movement, and therefore all of us, as well. Which to me signals something very important about her endorsement.

Liz Warren probably wanted to be endorsing Bernie Sanders in that interview, but she did what she feels is right.

And you know what? Let’s just respect that. Let’s not go labeling Liz Warren a shill, or a part of the same problem. She has done more in her short time in politics for Bernie’s platform and Bernie’s vision than pretty much anyone else. We love Liz Warren, and her choosing to wait until the writing was absolutely on the wall about who would win the nomination doesn’t make her a bad person. It makes her sadly disappointing in one minor regard, but maybe we should not throw her body on the pyre of sacrifice just yet. We’re going to need her in the Senate.

Hey, I get it. I’m super-bummed Bernie didn’t win, and I’m disappointed in how the millions of people who voted for Bernie are being talked about in some circles, but you can’t go living up to stereotypes on this one. You really can’t. If ever there was someone in Congress that we can believe is willing to fight for us, it’s Senator Warren. Is she perfect? Of course not, but no human on Earth is, right? If you go and listen to her speeches on the Senate floor, if you listen to her just absolutely laying the wood to Wall Street bankers in Senate hearings, you’ll know that Warren is no tool of the oligarchy.

She’s just a politician now, that’s all. And she believes, clearly, that the best way to keep that schmuck Trump out of office is to put her weight behind Hillary. On the one hand that sucks, but on the other hand, when weighed against the totality of her contribution toward moving our country back toward the New Deal’s promises of a more secure future for all of us, to me anyway it seems petty and silly to castigate her for her endorsement of Clinton.

Maybe it’s because as morally fluid as I find Clinton, and as cynical and calculating as she is, that I don’t think she belongs behind bars that I’m willing to give Warren a pass. Remember, everyone, I’m not ever, ever, ever voting for Ms. Clinton. So this isn’t someone trying to tell you to Unite Blue or any of that reductive bullshit. Your vote is your vote, and your conscience is your own. But we cannot go around making voodoo dolls out of everyone that comes out and endorses Hillary now, that’s counterproductive to this movement we’re allegedly in together.

Really, look at the timing. If Liz wanted to really fuck Bernie and his cause over, she’d have endorsed Hillary months ago, right? We all should remember that Senator Warren still has to protect her own political career, which really sucks, I know, when we’re talking about fundamentally changing the way our government serves us, but it’s true. She can’t do any good from the outside looking in.

And let’s face it, fellow Berners, unless you buy into every disgusting half-truth the Republicans spin about her, Hillary is not Satan incarnate. She’s cynical. She’s the queen of triangulation, and she is very much so unafraid to spend time and get chummy with the same Wall Streeters we want to rip our government away from. But she’s not evil. I wouldn’t even call the fact that she has helped Clinton Foundation donors get arms deals going in other countries as Secretary of State evil. Just, you know, disgusting, and a reason for me not to vote for her.

At the end of it all, even a revolution needs allies within the system. Of course Liz Warren was going to endorse whomever won the Democratic Primary. She is a Democrat, after all. And the bottom line to me is that unlike Debbie Wasserman Schultz, for example, Warren has shown time again she actually does believe in the progressive ideals of the time. She has stood up to financiers and put a pretty heavy smackdown on them for all to see during Senate hearings.

You can’t piss in everyone’s corn flakes just because they choose someone else. Well, you can, but at that point you’ve lost me. Maybe you don’t care about that, and that’s fine, but I’m just trying to tell you that even within big efforts for change, you can’t burn it all down, because that only makes your job harder, and anyone who doesn’t believe that Senator Warren is ultimately on our side is not someone I care to convince, because they clearly lack the depth of thought necessary to look at these issues like a reasoned adult would.

Chill out, fellow Berners. Ms. Warren means us no harm.

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About James Schlarmann 1207 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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