Super Flattering, Photogenic Pictures Of President-Elect Trump

Guys, we really need to stop making fun of President-Elect Fuckwit Trump’s looks. He’s made it abundantly clear he doesn’t like unflattering photos being used in news articles. You really can’t blame him for being protective of his ego. I mean, it’s not like he’s, on innumerable occasions, made himself the extreme butt of a joke, right?

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Right? I mean, he’s never, ever done thinks to make himself look like a total, braying jackass in public right?

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I mean, he’d NEVER do something to embarrass himself…

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So I thought I’d do our soon-to-be most powerful man in the free world a favor and put together an online album of the most flattering, photogenic pictures of him that I could find on the Internet. Let me know how I did.

He has an issue with his chin(s) being seen in a picture, so hey,this one's okay right? It just looks like he has one, humongous, jelly-like chin.
He has an issue with his chin(s) being seen in a picture, so hey,this one’s okay right? It just looks like he has one, humongous, jelly-like chin.
There is no way you could say his chin(s) is/are the focus of this picture. Another winner.
There is no way you could say his chin(s) is/are the focus of this picture. Another winner.
And this one is again totally NOT about his chin(s), so we're safe again.
And this one is again totally NOT about his chin(s), so we’re safe again.
Does he look goofy AF in this picture? Of course! But the chin(s) seem normal here, so...
Does he look goofy AF in this picture? Of course! But the chin(s) seem normal here, so…
Oops. This one has chin(s). Sorry Donald!
Oops. This one has chin(s). Sorry Donald!
Whoops! More chin(s). Damn it!
Whoops! More chin(s). Damn it!
trumpface
Oh fuck. This is the one he didn’t want people seeing! Sorry President-Elect Donny!

No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to find a picture of Trump where he looks even remotely normal. I hope he doesn’t mind. I certainly made as honest an effort as he deserves to find a flattering picture. Well, let’s try one more…




There we go...
There we go…

Perfect.


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About James Schlarmann 1463 Articles

Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.

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