Fox News Viewers Polishing Up Inappropriate Comments in Advance of Jimmy Carter’s Death

Numerous Fox News Channel viewers are readying their most vicious comments about former President Jimmy Carter to post online immediately after his eventual death.

Fans of the conservative-leaning news outlet say they don’t want to be caught flat-footed in the Fox News website comment section when the elderly Nobel Peace Prize winner finally meets his demise.

“The man is 91 years old and just had a bout with brain cancer,” explains Michael Goodman, of White Plains, NY. “If you get shown up by other commenters insulting a freshly deceased Carter while his body is still warm because you weren’t prepared, you’re an idiot.”

An avid Fox News watcher and self-described “world’s biggest Ann Coulter fan,” Goodman insists, “Now is the time to write and hone those macabre zingers that’ll get you fleeting love from like-minded strangers online. If you wait til Carter finally eats it, you’ll probably post something kind of lame and miss out on those precious moments of joy in an otherwise banal existence.”

Some of the already-prepared slams against the yet-to-be-deceased 39th U.S. president include references to the myriad troubles experienced by the country during Carter’s administration in the late 1970s.

“He didn’t die. His heart is just suffering from stagflation,” is one comment at the ready for loyal Fox News viewer Jonathan Baxter, of Montgomery, AL. “Great. Now the gold-paved streets of heaven will have lines for gas” is another.

A few online users have composed minimalist celebrations for Carter’s passing, such as “Good” by Ellen Balis, of Tucson, AZ. “Finally” is what Memphis’ Greg Yates claims he’s going to post the moment he learns the former peanut farmer has passed.

Meanwhile, Kerry Slayter, of Beaufort, SC, reports he’s going to “absolutely break the internet” with “Bye, Felicia,” a dismissive farewell famously uttered by Ice Cube in the comedy film Friday.

Other Fox News commenters are planning to sully Carter’s memory immediately after the death of the longtime Sunday school teacher by questioning his Christianity and his fate in the afterlife, particularly with regard to his moderate stance on gay rights.

“I’m going to post ‘Building houses for the poor and trying to bring peace to the Middle East doesn’t make you a Christian. Good luck getting into heaven, queer lover,'” says Robert Watkins, of El Dorado, AR.

Republished from The Red Shtick.



About Jeremy White 49 Articles
Jeremy White is an engineer by education, but a smartass by birth, who refused to let his technical background stand in the way of his dream of making fun of people. He's the founder and publisher of the satirical and irreverent humor site
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