If You Took a Shot Every Time Trump or One of His Surrogates Mentioned Hillary…

Ask any Trump supporter about their president’s performance — or failure to perform more accurately — and they’ll tell you flat out, without an equivocation or backtracking, who is to blame.

Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Try an experiment: Go to Twitter or Facebook. Then, browse to where Trumpers are. I know, it’s scary, but they’re just words, you’ll be fine. Then, go and post something mildly critical of Trump — that he’s been reckless with intelligence information, that he’s been inappropriate with Boy Scout Jamboree speeches, whatever. Then, count to about…one, maybe, two, and then sit back and watch the “But, but, but HILLARY!” bleating begin.

It’s really quite amazing, the ability of Trumpers to completely ignore the self-evident mountain of failure, Russian ass kissing, and derp that is Donny Dumbfuck so that they can deflect to Hillary Clinton. Here’s a tweet example from a conversation I had on Twitter the other day that perfectly encapsulates the phenomenon. I was responding to right-wing conservative author, conspiracy theorist, and convicted felon Dinesh D’Souza’s gloating over the Supreme Court allowing the Trump administration to enforce their Muslim ban, but not as strongly as they’d like.

MsBehavingDeplorable on Twitter

@PolitiGarbage @DineshDSouza Half victory for Trump unlike Clinton, a total loss #suckitupbuttercup

The best part is that for eight years we got told to “Get Over Bush.” Because you know, having to clean up the messes of an eight year bumblefuck of an administration is in any way comparable to dogmatically and instinctively deflecting to a politician you already defeated. It’s almost as if the Republicans were actually hoping Hillary would win last year so that they could go right on hating the president without having any substantive ideas of their own to differentiate them from the people they’re trashing.

Tim on Twitter

@PolitiGarbage @FredSkipBrown62 @spencerwrighter @brithume Its not collusion Einstein, NOTHING HAPPENED it was talk for 20 mins! At least he didnt bleach bit the emails did he, no crime no collusion!

I don’t think if you took the words “Hillary,” “Killary,” “Hitler-y,” or “Fried Butter Loaves” that most Trumplodytes would have much to talk about. For eight years we heard them claim that every burp, sneeze, or fart issued forth from Obama’s body was grounds for impeachment and proof of a vast liberal conspiracy. If only, they reasoned, they could control all three branches of government, they’d show we stupid libtards how adults lead and govern.

Except, since taking control of all three branches of government, they’ve looked more inept than usual. The Muslim ban has gotten all kinds of legal pushback, and is in no way a settled deal. Trump’s border wall is still not being constructed. His promise to repeal and replace Obamacare? Well, we all saw how that just played out, didn’t we?

Donald J. Trump on Twitter

My son Donald openly gave his e-mails to the media & authorities whereas Crooked Hillary Clinton deleted (& acid washed) her 33,000 e-mails!

For starters, no, Don Jr. wasn’t transparent. He didn’t “openly give” shit to anyone until he knew The New York Times had the emails and he wanted to torpedo the story. Sad! Calling Don. Jr. transparent is like calling AIDS a weight-loss program. Sure, he could’ve waited for the story to break and stymied everyone, but that would’ve only made him look worse. Which is, of course, why he released the emails in the first place.




But more importantly — what the fuck does Hillary Clinton have to do with Donald Trump Jr., Paul Manafort, and Jared Kushner taking a secret meeting with a Russian lawyer? I was sure that we all decided back in elementary school that two wrongs don’t in fact make a right. Yet, that is the precise argument that everyone’s making here. Don Jr. shouldn’t be held accountable because Hillary also deleted emails.

It boggles my mind that the FBI can conduct an exhaustive investigation of Hillary and the email thing, come up with no crime to charge her, and the right still thinks that harping on her emails will win them new converts. We all know that the sycophantic among them will never let go of Hillary’s emails or Benghazi, but the rest of America is interested in seeing how the current administration gets along, not the candidate they defeated.

At some point Republicans are going to have to make a case that they did the right thing by electing Trump. For eight years I heard them complain every time the left brought up George W. Bush, but I think they fundamentally misunderstand that while there are legitimate gripes people can make about Bush — like, say, an illegal war built on lies — trying to drag Hillary into the conversation every time is the biggest exercise in deflection you can imagine.

If the GOP can’t articulate why they won last year without saying, “Cuz Hillary,” and if they can’t hold Trump accountable with out, “But, but Hillary”ing every single time, I don’t see how next year’s mid-terms aren’t a blood bath for them. Oh wait, gerrymandering and voter suppression are still their favorite things in the world, aren’t they?

 

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About James Schlarmann 1453 Articles

Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.

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