What if Jews Had Shut Down a Nazi Rally?

Dear People Whining About Donald Trump’s Rally Being Canceled,

Shh. Just stop and shut up. You’re a) full of shit and b) an idiot, and here’s why.

What if Jews had shut down a Nazi rally? No, I’m not saying every Drumpf fan is a Nazi. But I’m using Nazis to illustrate a point. I’ve seen a lot of Internet Constitutional Scholars claim that protesters have no right to protest inside a rally and that they were inciting violence. Aside from being bullshit because he Constitution doesn’t have an “only outside clause,” this argument fails because peaceful protest is be definition non-violent and doesn’t incite it either.

So really, what if Jews had shutdown a Nazi rally? Would you say the Jews had been wrong for “infiltrating” the rally? Or would you say, “Wow, that’s fucking cool. They peacefully protested and got that dick to shut up for a night.” Because I would say the second one. So that’s why, very easily, we can see that people defending Trump’s right to free speech are just making up how the First Amendment is supposed to work.

The event was open and all you had to do was register. The Chicago Protesters simply used Trump’s own system against him…something I’d think the snake in the grass would appreciate on some level. It seems to me the protesters were the ones properly exercising their First Amendment rights. They simply gathered in a large enough number to amplify their voice. Donald didn’t have to shut the rally down. He could have united people by inviting a protester on stage to talk to him — seriously. Think about how that would look. He would appear to be rational instead of a guy who’s either pretending to be a dictator in the making or really is a small-handed fascist come lately.


Admittedly, the title of the piece and its central premise is an unabashed dance into Godwin territory. But I feel lie, and this is definitely biased of me to say (but I think that’s okay because being biased against bigotry is actually the right thing), the analogy really fits. What Trump says about Islam hating us, literally hating us, is dangerous. It’s stupid at its core, but it’s actually really dangerous because it’s the exact shit Daesh wants American “leaders” to say about Islam so they can vest-up another 19 year old kid. So…no, I don’t care that shit head didn’t get to have his little fascist lite party.

I keep saying the joke isn’t funny anymore. Donald Trump is like all the other “American Pie” moves after “American Pie” and really after the first two times you watch it. He’s lost his entertainment value and he needs be shut down so the idiots supporting him can go back to sitting in the backs of cigar shops trading “valuable intel” on Order 1469 that will launch Marshmallow Law and give Obama authority to name himself king. Those fucking idiots don’t get to decide our next president, sorry. They can vote, I’m not saying they can’t vote. But they need to shut up and stick to Stormfront and Unbiased America.

No kidding though, I am a little worried a Trump rally’s going to turn into a mass shooting incident. This is America and we have more guns than people and common sense, so seeing Chicago erupt like this is also a real good reminder that protesters really should take caution to make sure they don’t push any moron’s buttons. Then again, it’s hilarious that people would accuse the protesters of being fascists by trying to intimidate dissent, isn’t it?

Protest can take many forms. It can be some schleppy schmoe writing political satire. It can be a few people standing outside an abortion clinic. And it can be hundreds of angry, fed-up Americans tired of seeing a reality-TV douchebag and his equally terrifying supporters embarrass us all over the world.

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About James Schlarmann 1145 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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