Judge Scalia Fan Shocked, Outraged That Justice Ginsburg Said Something Political

SPRINGFIELD, ARKANSAS — Clem O’Connell, a local Arkansas Republican, is furious, shocked, and outraged that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg has made a handful of “political statements” in the press about Republican presumptive nominee Donald J. Trump. O’Connell says that his favorite Supreme Court Justice of all time, Antonin Scalia, would “never dare to be so political except on the issues of guns, abortion, sodomy laws, interpreting the Constitution, and pretty much anything else he wanted to be political about.”

Clem says that while he “totally respects” Ginsburg’s right to First Amendment-protected free speech, he feels it lowers the high court’s importance and stature when justices chime in on elections. Instead, he says that he prefers the “Republican Supreme Court tradition” of making wildly political statements only from legal opinions on Supreme Court cases. He also said that deciding the outcome of elections is acceptable, as long as a Republican is handed the win, of course.

A Local Republican — and devout believer in late Supreme Court Justice Anton Scalia’s views of the ConstitutionĀ –Clem says that he sees a sharp difference between what Justice Ginsburg has said about Donald Trump in interviews and how Scalia would extol his political beliefs on the masses.




“Justice Scalia had the decency to be blatantly political in only the most appropriate place — legal opinions that would live on well past his expiration date,” Clem said, “but when Ginsburg does is totally different because reasons and I feel it’s different. Sure, she isn’t tainting any of her judgments with political rhetoric, but she is stating a personal opinion on something, and I just feel Supreme Court Justices shouldn’t ever hold opinions on things, like, ever.”

We asked Clem if he thinks any American — regardless of the position they may or may not hold in government — should speak out against candidates they feel are espousing truly harmful and damaging viewpoints. Clem thought about this for a moment then asked us a rhetorical question he answered himself.

“Well, I guess I’d have to know if it’s a liberal or conservative,” Clem asked, “but if it’s a conservative of course I’d say that’s not only acceptable, it’s their duty. But libtards should shut up and go read the Federalist Papers and anything else Heritage and Cato tell them to. Then they can think about opening their pie holes up, as far as I’m concerned.”

Justice Ginsburg could be reached for comment. Justice Scalia, reached in the Seventh Ring of Hell, said that he was “just delighted to be remembered by America’s most slack-jawed of patriots” and that he agrees with the idea that “justices should only get political when they’re making judgments that will effect millions of people for years and years and not when talking about a particularly douchey candidate’s doucheyness.”


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About James Schlarmann 1446 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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