I Love Watching Hillary Hawks Melt Down Over a Possible Trump/Sanders Debate

What’s the matter, Hillary Acolytes, does actual democracy hurt your fee-fees? That’s certainly the impression you give when you collectively freak-the-fuck-out over the possibility of Donald J. Trump and Senator Bernie Sanders debating one another on Fox News.

“Honestly, I mean, I just believe that this is the most important job in the world. It’s the toughest job in the world. You should be willing to campaign for every vote. You should be willing to debate anytime, anywhere…” — Hillary Clinton, 2008

You would think that Sanders agreed to be Trump’s running mate and to poop on Hillary’s doorstep every day from now until the election the way I’ve seen some Hillary Hawks swear a Trump/Sanders debate would be the end of Hillary. Because, you know, this election? It’s all about Hillary.

Did I say Hillary yet?

#Hillary

Seriously though, I cannot fathom why any Hillary die-hard would be freaking out over this. If Hillary’s “got it in the bag” like they claim she does, then it won’t hurt her chances for the nomination. And if she’s such a tremendously strong candidate against Trump, she should have no problem with him debating the guy she’s currently defeating in the primaries. Right? I mean, what exactly am I missing here?

Oh right, they claim it’s going to be a 90-minute roast of Hillary. Gee, maybe her Annointedness should have thought about that before she reneged on her agreement to debate Sanders in California, as a way to try and pander to his supporters, back in January huh? Because there’s a sure-fire way to make sure you’re not sandbagged by not showing up — you show up. I know, hard concept we’re working with here, huh?

Once again, I can’t help but feel the reaction against Bernie is purely political here, and nothing else. Shouldn’t Clinton fans be stoked that progressive ideas will be forcefully defended by one of their most strident defenders on the right’s very own propaganda machine of a network? The thing is, I don’t buy that this would do a whole lot to hurt Hillary at all. Even if it is 90 minutes of “fuck Hillary because of this” and “fuck Hillary because of that” do her supporters really feel that will somehow sway huge swaths of people one way or the other?


The simple fact that Hillary Hawks are having a really hard time reconciling with is that she is not universally loved, even within her own party. It’s as if her most ardent supporters have forgotten that eight years ago she was bested by a relative unknown within her party and that clearly shows she wasn’t universally embraced by everyone then. So what makes people think this time is any different?

Oh, right, her convenient Bogeydouche, Donald Trump.

He’s supposedly so revolting, so fascistic, so disgusting a human being that should make Hillary’s multitudinous weaknesses and flaws as a candidate go away. Except they don’t. So Hillary acolytes need to just get over it. Your candidate is winning, yes. And she is doing so on the back of millions more popular votes than both Sanders and Trump, of course. But we all know that is both a function of how the primaries were run and where the votes first came in from. Just deal with the fact that she’s not the ice cream shitting superstar savior of humanity you think she is, and square yourself with the fact that she has authenticity and scruples problem that all the debates with Trump and Sanders wouldn’t have shit-all to do with, period.

You cannot blame anyone but Hillary for Hillary’s poor showing in November, if that’s what happens. Hell, it very probably won’t. Trump really is that terrible a person/candidate that he could wind-up scaring everyone right into Hillary’s arms. But her supporters really need to stop pretending there’s not an ounce of criticism she deserves. They need to stop acting as if it’s Bernie supporters, not Hillary herself, that turns people off to Hillary.

A debate between Trump and Sanders would benefit the whole country. Because debates are good things, regardless. They let us see the candidates for longer than a sound byte allows.

And hey, if you don’t want to take my word on the importance of debates in presidential elections, let’s just ask Hillary what she thought about them eight years ago, shall we?

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About James Schlarmann 1175 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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