This obviously satirical story first appeared on The Political Garbage Chute.
MISSION RIDGE, CALIFORNIA — Over the weekend, a congressman from Iowa who’d already garnered a reputation for himself as potentially racist after making insulting comments about Mexican immigrants and their “thighs the size of cantaloupes” from smuggling marijuana into the country, tweeted what seemed to be thinly-veiled white supremacist rhetoric. King retweeted a tweet from “Voice of Europe” that featured a political cartoon on the Syrian refugee crisis in Europe, and drew comparisons to the U.S. — presumably to tie into President Bannon’s travel ban — and his tweet said that America “can’t restore our civilization with somebody else’s babies.”
On a podcast, a popular Muslim Mexican American soldier told his audience Sunday evening that despite Congressman King’s “blatantly racist and white supremacist bullshit,” he’d continue to fight for and defend America.
“Look, people like me,” Lt. Pablo Madras told people watching his podcast, “would hear King’s comments and get the hint — dude thinks we need more white babies. And the only reason, literally the only reason you would have for giving a fuck about the color of baby skin, is if you think your own skin color is either better, or more important. So it’s funny to me that he thinks someone with genes like mine, who’s served multiple tours in multiple hostile environments on his behalf, is somehow inferior to him and his genes.”
Wilders understands that culture and demographics are our destiny. We can’t restore our civilization with somebody else’s babies. https://t.co/4nxLipafWO
Lt. Madras said he found it “super ironic” that King is a Republican, given who “really put the GOP on the map, politically speaking.”
“Abraham Lincoln was pretty much a third party candidate when he ran and won the first time,” Madras said, “and yeah he was certainly still pretty racist for our time, but you cannot deny that he had a direct hand in ending slavery and bringing more racial equality to this country, not less. Hell, he personally guided the 13th Amendment through Congress in order to get slavery abolished. Now, Republicans like King are fighting to once again divide Americans by their skin color, or even the faith they hold.”
Madras wondered if King really even believes in the “core American principles” he’s served in both Afghanistan and Iraq ostensibly to defend.
“Now, you and I both know that those conflicts may not have been what we were told they were going to be or even be about,” Madras said, “but as a Mexican, Muslim American, I still went over there and fought because I thought at the time we were fighting for freedom. And I’d do it again, and again. Because unlike King, I actually believe in freedom of speech, religion, and expression. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to live the life I have, and without people like me, asshole racists like Steve King would be left to defend their precious freedoms all by themselves, which would be quite laughable.”
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Regardless of how insulting Rep. King gets in his rhetoric, Madras says, he will not stop defending America, nor will he stop speaking out against King and people like him.
“That’s the truly beautiful thing about this country,” Madras said, “I can grab a gun, go defend our way of life, come back, rip a racist asshole relic of a congressman on my podcast when I get back home, all while shouting Allahu Akbar, because real Americans know it ain’t no different from when BoJed McGee howls ‘Praise Jesus’ at the top of his lungs. In fact, I take pride in knowing that I’m going out and fighting for his right to say racist, stupid, bigoted things about me. Crazy how that works.”
Representatives for Congressman King said he was out picking up his white sheets from the cleaners and would not be available to comment on this story.