The National Guard Memo Exists, No Matter How Much Team Trump Lies Their Asses Off About It

I get the feeling that Donald Trump and his cavalcade of clueless clumps of crap don’t understand that lies aren’t truth, no matter how much they desperately want them to be.

So the AP reported today that the Trump administration has a draft memo of an executive order directing 100,000 troops to round up undocumented people. Which means all those times we thought Republicans wanted to send massive numbers of troops into our streets to round-up those damn dirty Mexicans? We are spot-the-fuck-on about them.

Now, in the interest of fairness we should acknowledge that Sean Spicer, White House Press Secretary and Alternative Melissa McCarthy, has denied this story is true. Here’s his tweet, for the permanent record:

Of course, DHS confirming it’s false, as Spicer says, would probably mean that AP can’t produce the actual memo, right?

Oops.

Setting aside the fact that the National Guard is actually made up of individual, state-controlled militias and the president doesn’t have any federal authority to just mobilize them against the will of the sates, the crux of this story, like so many about the Trump team so far, is that they are not tethered to anything remotely resembling reality, and they very obviously have figured out their supporters simply do not trust what the rest of us know to be reality.

How the fuck Spicer can go out into the world every day and lie for his boss is beyond me. Especially when the lies are so easily proven to be false. Spicer had to know that AP wouldn’t report on something like this unless they’d seen the memo, or did he?

Think about it — Republicans have shit all over higher education forever. They’ve also pretty much been shitting on the press and the media as long as I can remember. Because to them, reality is what they believe, not what the rest of us can see. I was raised in a conservative house and was living there when Fox News came on the air. It was such a relief to my super-conservative parents to not be confronted with “liberal media bias,” which I’ve come to realize now was just my folks, and many millions more like them, crying out for a safe space.

This is how we get to the point where the goddamned press secretary is outright lying about the veracity of a story. We’ve set up a country divided along partisan lines. It’s exactly the nightmare scenario that Washington envisioned when he warned about not letting partisan politics infect the new country he’d just help fight to establish. It would be one thing for Spicer and Trump to deny that the memo means what people think it means, but it’s something else entirely to make up out of whole cloth this narrative that it’s the press that’s lying.

Do you know what Hitler called the press? He called them the “lügenpresse.” Translated, it literally means “lying press.” Despots and dictators rely on the lack of free flowing information to keep their subjects cowed. Now, I’m not saying that Trump is acting like Hitler when he lies about everything and blames the press, but if the little mustache fits…

Where we go from here I really don’t know. It’s getting harder and harder to accept that the forces of un-reality won last year, but that’s exactly what happened. We’re now the only major developed nation that denies the impact of mankind on climate change.





Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.



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About James Schlarmann 1354 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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