If Nixon Did What President-Elect Fuckwit Did To Boeing, He’d Have Been Impeached For It

Richard Nixon was never actually removed from office after being impeached because he resigned before the process got to that point. But what a lot of people may not realize is that Tricky Dick wasn’t impeached for the Watergate break-in. He was impeached for the mountain of other terrible shit that investigating his cover-up of the break-in revealed, after being charged with obstructing justice. And what was revealed was that Nixon had chosen to wield the power of the Executive Branch in a wholly self-empowering, colossally abusive way.

Nixon, unlike what Barack Obama has been accused of, actually did use the power of the IRS to go after his political enemies. Nixon played dirty as dirty can be. But as far as I can tell, even Nixon never dared purposefully tank a company’s stock just because someone at that company said something negative about him. That’s something only a total asshole with absolutely no ability to hold himself accountable would do.

Which makes perfect sense why our darling President-Elect Fuckwit did what he did to Boeing.

Trump made it seem like he was considering backing out of Boeing’s deal with the Pentagon to design a new Air Force One because he had a problem with the costs of the project, which he claimed in a tweet were already $4 billion over estimates. But, as we’ve come to find out, that was total bullshit, and the truth of the story might be that he dinged Boeing’s stock because his feelings got hurt. After President-Elect Diarrhea Mouth tweeted this out, Boeing’s stock dropped, and some estimates put the loss to shareholders at over $500 million.

Just imagine if Barack Obama had sent out a tweet that cost a company that much in stock value. How crazy do you think Congressional Republicans would go? On a scale of one to Benghazi? Because I have a feeling they’d draft impeachment papers right then and there, claiming he’d acted dangerously and wanting to relieve him of power before he could do any more damage to any other companies’ stock prices.

But here’s the kicker — Trump was lying out of his ass. Not that anyone should be surprised, but after Trump’s little announcement, and their stock taking a dive, Boeing had to come out and make a statement. Which they did. CNBC tweeted a portion of it, below.

So, okay, Trump lied. I mean, it’s terrible that he lied and that one lie cost so many people so much money, but politicians lie to make themselves look good all the time. I mean, it’s not like Trump fabricated the lie just a matter of an hour two after Boeing’s CEO was quoted as being critical of the Cheeto in Chief, right?

Well…

Boeing CEO waits for Trump’s trade play

The brain trust at Boeing, among city’s largest companies and a global aerospace and defense powerhouse, must cringe every time President-elect Donald Trump riffs on foreign policy, especially when it comes to dealing with China. Admittedly, that’s my supposition because Dennis Muilenburg, Boeing’s CEO, has made only measured comments about the administration’s emerging international views.

So there we have a piece in The Chicago Tribune wherein Boeing CEO Dennis Muilenburg is critical of Trump’s trade policies, and it’s published at 7:30am, I’m guessing Eastern Time. When did Trump make his announcement about the Boeing Air Force One budget overages? The time stamp on his tweet is about 20 minutes later, at 7:52am Eastern Time. To repeat: Boeing’s CEO is critical of Trump in a newspaper article, and less than half an hour alter, the Führer-Elect is tweeting out a lie that slams Boeing’s stock.




Call me crazy, but that seems, oh, I don’t know…like a scandal worthy of investigation. But don’t listen to me. I’m a clowny clown. Kurt Eichenwald is a legitimate journalist and way smarter than me. Here’s what he tweeted:

If Richard Nixon had sent a press release from the White House intimating that a company the government had a contract with was wasting billions of taxpayer dollars, and if that press release caused the stock of said company to drop precipitously, he’d have been crucified for it. If he had sent the press release and it was all based on a lie, people would have been outraged. But if Richard Nixon had done all that and it was later revealed he did it as a form of retribution for being criticized, he’d have been impeached then, just as Trump should be impeached for such actions now.

Of course, you can’t really impeach a guy before he’s sworn-in can you? So I guess we just have to shake our heads and say, “Fuckin’ Trump,” don’t we? Because unless the Electoral College pulls some kind of historic move and blocks his inauguration — something I hope they don’t do because I’ve heard the Civil War was pretty gnarly — this is probably just a warm-up and a precursor to the kinds of shit we’re going to see in the Trump Era. It would be up to Congress — which is controlled by his own party — to hold him accountable.

I think I’ll just plop my chair right here on the observation deck and watch the horizon for awhile. Hey, is that an iceberg? Why are those violinists playing?


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

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About James Schlarmann 1445 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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