Remember When Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton’s Campaign Managers Were Indicted For Conspiracy Against the U.S.?

Hey guys, it’s me, James. And if you know anything about me, you know that I love history. I come at my comedy from the perspective of someone who loves history. So I wanted to take the time to remind all of my fellow liberals not to crow too loudly this morning, because don’t forget all those times that Barack Obama’s campaign manager was indicted for a criminal conspiracy against the United States. Even if you do forget those times, I know you cannot forget how Hillary Clinton’s 2008 and 2016 campaign manager was also similarly indicted, right?

Oh, and you probably remember how that one Obama campaign official pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI about contacts between the campaign and Russia, right? I mean, it was like alllllllllll over the news and shit, I think. Or maybe it was just all over that news broadcast I watch where it’s just some old drunk white guy watching Fox News and yelling, “I told you so!” at his poor wife who is just praying he’s eaten his last deep fried Twinkie. I don’t know.

All I do know is I can remember very clearly when federal, criminal indictments were handed down to a guy who ran Barack Obama’s campaigns for conspiracy against the United States. And all I have to do is fire up my internet browser here…there we go…and now I’ll type in a search string that will probably give me millions of hits so I can give you all a link to the story, so you know I’m telling the truth. Be right back with that link.

Um, hang on, give me another minute or two. I’m going to also search “Obama or Killary Campaign Manager indicted for conspiracy against the U.S.” Sit tight. I’ll be right back with those links.

Man, it’s so weird. For eight years all I heard from people like Darrell Issa and Trey Gowdy was how corrupt and criminal Obama was. And so I could have sworn I heard one of them find in their umpteen billion congressional investigations into the burps, sneezes, and farts of the Obama White House that his campaign manager had been indicted for money laundering and conspiracy. I mean, it would only make sense, right? So, let me just go find you guys those links. I know they’re somewhere.

Okay, fuck it. Maybe it wasn’t Obama. Pretty sure it was Killary Clintstoned though. Surely her campaign manager was arrested for conspiracy and money laundering, right? I mean, this has to be about Benghazi or something right? Let me go check Google again.

Well. Shit. Maybe Trump should start buying every Nixon biography he can get his tiny little hands on.

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About James Schlarmann 1446 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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