It’s been such a topsy-turvy last few months with Donald Trump as our president, that I wouldn’t blame anyone for forgetting about the last guy to occupy the same office. His name was Barack Obama, and he was a Democrat. He served for eight years, winning two consecutive terms. A lot was learned about Obama over the time he was our commander in chief.
We learned that he hated America, the very country he was leading. He learned he was a socialist Kenyan communist who hated capitalist free markets so much he never had his Department of Justice file a single indictment against any bank CEO or executive for their illegal activities that led to the banking crisis and economic collapse known as the Great Recession. We learned that every burp, fart, and sneeze he had in that time was related to some guy called Ben Gozzi.
And we learned that he was such a snowflake, such a sad little pathetic man, that he couldn’t take any criticism. It was so bad, in fact, his aversion to hearing bad things about himself or how he was doing, that he had aides compile reports made up of positive headlines, news stories, and even tweets from random supporters, all delivered to him two times a day. Obama’s ego was so fragile, that he just couldn’t handle it when people quoted the actual words he used to demonstrate his inept and incompetent ways.
In an even more embarrassing development, we found out that sometimes Obama just wanted this special folder filled with good pictures of himself looking powerful and presidential. What a sad and pathetic man, am I right? I mean, for the sitting President of the United States of America to have all the power he has, and yet be mostly consumed with how he’s perceived in his own mind is the height of depressing delusion and self-unaware fantasy replacing reality and actual, honest to God leadership.
Reported by Vice News, apparently Obama even had his staffers receiving the data for the folder every half hour.
Every 30 minutes or so, the staffers send the White House Communications Office an email with chyron screenshots, tweets, news stories, and interview transcripts. (source)
We all knew that Obama hated America, of course. That was, like, sooooooo obvious. But I had no idea how much he loved himself. How pathetic. What a loser cuck. I mean, you’re the most powerful man in the world. You command the largest military the species has ever seen. The richest, most diverse economy in the history of all things is guided by your whim. And through all that you need your ego stroked even more?
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I mean, c’mon! What a —
Wait. Hold on. I’m getting a message from some people who are telling me…Huh? It’s…It’s Trump who has a folder full of “Yay Me!” stuff delivered by hand twice a day? It’s Trump’s shallow and fragile state that drives him to need constant validation, and not Obama? So every place up there where I said “Obama” you should replace it with “Trump,” instead?
Well…fuck. That changes thing just a bit, doesn’t it? Oh well.
Thanks, Trumpers, for electing an insecure, fascist, orange twat waffle toddler to the presidency.
Extra Reading Time:
Twice a day since the beginning of the Trump administration, a special folder is prepared for the president. The first document is prepared around 9:30 a.m. and the follow-up, around 4:30 p.m. Former Chief of Staff Reince Priebus and former Press Secretary Sean Spicer both wanted the privilege of delivering the 20-to-25-page packet to President Trump personally, White House sources say.