Pro-Bernie or Pro-Hillary, Can We All Agree Superdelegates are Superfucked?

Let’s be really, really, real shall we? Superdelegates are completely undemocratic, and so that means whether you’re pro-Bernie or or pro-Hillary you should be anti-superdeletgate because superdeelgates are superfucked.

At least in my opinion.

Why? Because the head of the Democratic National Committee had no shame in divulging why supedelegates were created in the first place — stopping grassroots movements from unseating incumbents, that’s why. Sorry, but I have a major problem with that. The parties, whether you’re a Democrat, Republican, Whig, or otherwise, are supposed to serve the people. There is nothing about serving the people that says you should create a second, more powerful class of voter who can just simply ignore what the party faithful want. That literally is the opposite of what voting is supposed to bring about.

Sure, we have an Electoral College that doesn’t give us a direct voice in our presidential elections, but that simply isn’t the same thing, and more to the point Electoral College members voting against the will of their constituents has been pretty rare indeed. But all over the country right now there are superdelegates who are pledged to Hillary Clinton when Bernie Sanders won the state. Now, admittedly I’m a Sanders supporter, but I can say with certainty that Clinton and her supporters would be rightfully pissed themselves if the reverse were true.

So please, someone smarter than I am explain to me why superdelegates are a good thing for the process. Explain to me how a system that makes it so that at any time people with connections we don’t have can nullify the election results is a good thing. Let me guess — your answer will include the words “Tea Party” in it, right? Way to alienate a ton of people who think like you do on everything else except who we want to nominate for president. Because other than the fact that Sanders supporters share a disdain for the establishment telling them how to vote, the similarities between them and Tea Partiers are pretty scarce.

In the end, either Sanders or Clinton supporters are going to get hosed by superdelegates. I get the Electoral College. It’s a mechanism to keep bigger states from dominating the littler ones in an effort to level the playing field. But superdelegates aren’t the same thing, not even remotely. Superdelegates are literally extra votes the party power class can use as a weapon to destroy votes cast for candidates they don’t want to count.


I truly can’t figure out why anyone would support them. They wreaked havoc on both the Obama and the Clinton camps in 2008, and we’re seeing the undemocratic destruction they can do now in 2016. How can you call yourself the Democratic Party and yet have one of the most undemocratic mechanisms imaginable in your nomination process. I guess you have to hand it to them for being transparent about it, but isn’t that like when Trump fans say they love him just because he “speaks his mind.” No shit he speaks his mind, but the problem is that what’s in his mind is dumb.

Superdelegates are equally dumb.

Either you trust the people in your party to vote their conscience, or you don’t. Either you believe that each person’s vote counts equally — and just once — or you don’t. Considering that by their very definition superdelegates get more than one vote, no one should be happy. Why in the hell would anyone who considers themselves remotely a fan of equality support this kind of bullshit? Oh wait, I know, if their side is winning.

How incredibly cool of all of you who keep wagging your finger about superdelegates. How incredibly democratic. How incredibly fair, intellectually honest and evenhanded. Because we all know that if the shoe were on the other foot, you would totally be okay with it being explained to you that your vote isn’t that important because team politics is more important than the actual direction our country is going in, right?

All I know is that if I lived in a state where the majority voted on way, but superdelegates stayed committed to the other candidate — regardless of who was in which position — I would be incensed. Between superdelegates and the non-stop, incessant begging for campaign donations that the Democratic Party sends everyone, what exactly is the difference between them and the Republican establishment? That is the frustration that many of us feel about superdelegates.

In the end, maybe the superdelegates won’t end up mattering so much. Maybe Hillary will lock up the nomination without needing them, or maybe Bernie will. I just know that no matter what, if superdelegates do end up costing someone an election, then you could see a lot of pissed-off voters just simply not showing up, and why should they? I know, I know, “Democrats.” Well, that’s not a good enough reason for a lot of people.

Especially after “Democrats” have just disenfranchised them.

Oh, but, as a little P.S. to this one — none of this means “hit lists” should be made for superdelegates. For fucks’ sake, let’s not go crazy here. No one deserves threats of violence or anything for this. Behaving like they do would actually make you extremely Tea-Baggery. So don’t do that. Be pissed, but don’t be “Tea Bagger” pissed.

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About James Schlarmann 1096 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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