Quick, One Line Responses To The Most Often Used Anti-Gun Control Talking Points

Gun control. It’s back in the news again because of the Orlando shooting and the Democrats staged a pretty epic filibuster in the Senate yesterday over pushing to even get a vote on closing the gun show loophole and the terrorist watch list loophole. This of course means that within the next day or two, we’ll all get distracted by the next big shiny object and gun control won’t be argued about again…until another gunman mows down a couple dozen people or more. Which, if my calculations are correct, will be any minute now.

While this current round of gun control debate will likely be over soon, as a service to everyone reading, I thought I’d supply you all with some easy, one-line responses to the arguments against gun control. That is of course if you’re one of the millions of Americans who believes we can strike a balance between the right to self-defense and the right to be as protected as possible from violent psychopaths Second Amendmenting all over our faces.

Gun nuts tend to boil their arguments down to cute sound bytes, so here now are my responses to their trite talking points. Enjoy!

Gun Nut Talking Point:

“Criminals don’t follow laws!”

Which is why we punish criminals when they break them, and don’t pretend that they magically stop crime from happening in the first place.

Gun Nut Talking Point:

“More people die in car crashes than from gun violence!”

The reason that car accident fatalities are lower now is that we regulated access to cars and public roads when too many people started dying in car accidents.

Gun Nut Talking Point:

“Gun deaths and mass shootings are a tiny percentage of the things that kill us!”

While that’s supe-dupe comforting to the hundreds of people who have died in mass shootings we’re trying to solve mass shootings — not death itself — Captain Skewed Perspective.

Gun Nut Talking Point:

“You’re only keeping law abiding citizens from buying something to help defend themselves!”

Except if they can’t pass a background check, they’re still suspicious as hell, so we still don’t want them just buying any gun they want, any time they want.


Gun Nut Talking Point:

“Guns save lives.”

Yes, and they are designed to take them, and they regularly do that too,  so…?

Gun Nut Talking Point:

“Our Second Amendment is to protect us from the tyranny of our own government!”

It’s not, but even if it was it was kinda registered moot the first time we dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Gun Nut Talking Point:

“It’s my Constitutional right to own any gun I want!”

Freedom of speech is also your constitutional right, but try even joking about killing a president and see how unfettered your rights are.

Gun Nut Talking Point:

“Regulation is the first step toward confiscation!”

Actually, regulation is regulation and confiscation is confiscation because words have meanings, according to the dictionary anyway.

Gun Nut Talking Point:

“Only a good guy with a gun to beat a bad guy with a gun.”

Well, the OK Corral is a good model for all gun-related incidents, sure.

Gun Nut Talking Point:

“Guns don’t kill people, people do!”

Right, that’s why we punish people who break gun laws, not guns that break gun laws, Smart Guy McBangBangPants.

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About James Schlarmann 1486 Articles
James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.
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