Republican Party Sets Up ‘Fact-Free Zone’ At Convention

CLEVELAND, OHIO — In 2004, when the Republican Party held their national convention in New York City they had “free speech zones” setup so that Americans protesting the Bush Administration’s Iraq War could exercise their First Amendment rights where the GOP deemed fit. The free speech zones were actually fenced in using chain link materials, and they were well away from the actual site of the convention. Now, twelve years later, Republicans have set up a “fact free zone” at their convention being held in Cleveland this week.

“We just wanted to set up a safe space,” Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus told reporters this morning in Cleveland, “that would be familiar to Republicans visiting from out of town.”

Priebus said the rise of the acceptance of right-wing conspiracies as cornerstones of conservative politics is what spurred the decision to create the fact free zones. He said that over the last several decades since Republicans have embraced people like Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones, and Matthew Drudge as legitimate sources of information, it was imperative that he and the GOP give out of towner Republicans a place to “feel completely at paranoid, delusional home.”




“We wanted them to feel comfortable to talk about how Hillary obviously covered up her role in Benghazi,” Priebus told the media at the presser. He further stated that he’d like the fact free zone to be a “place where [rank and file Republicans] can feel at home discussing how [Clinton] had Vince Foster killed because of Whitewater.”

The Trump campaign’s junior deputy media relations supervisor, Jack Schnell, told reporters that the Republican Party “clearly gets how important it is to pander to tin foil hat wearing, vaping, douche canoes who think that their right-wing media website is the same as getting a college degree.” Schnell said it “pleases Herr Trump to no end” to know that the GOP is “looking to protect the ignorance of its base.”

“We wanted Republicans attending our convention to know that maybe everywhere else in the world, and even within this very convention, Barack Obama was born in the United States,” Preibus said at the press conference, “but at least there’s a little place where the truth — that he’s a Kenyan born Muslim who hates freedom — can be discussed freely.”

Reporters asked Priebus just how large the fact free zones would be. Priebus said the RNC knows that “space is at a premium” and that they decided to keep the fact free zone “as small as possible.”

“The fact free zone,” Priebus announced, “will be the little segment of the space known as ‘the entire convention.'”


More fake news daily at The Political Garbage Chute.

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About James Schlarmann 1194 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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