Dear Republicans: You Can’t Stop The SS Trumptanic From Sinking And Taking You Down Too

If you look at what Nate Silver at FiveThirtyEight is predicting will happen, and then combine that with the current polling date from RealClearPolitics, you’re going to get a very clear answer to the question of whether or not Republicans are going to start jumping off the SS Trumptanic. Barring any major calamity or an upset so big you have to go back and give Dewy the win over Truman just to make room for it in the annals of time, Hillary Rodham Clinton will be our next president, and the Republicans will suffer an insanely embarrassing defeat.

No wonder the Republican National Committee is thinking about cutting off any financial help to their giant, orange, teeth-breathing albatross. But…will it actually help save their party?

Don’t get me wrong — conservatism is going nowhere. There’s a lot of money in convincing people modernity is a cancer and status quo living is all you need. But the Republican Party won’t be saved by cutting their Trump bait. That ship has sailed, hit the iceberg, and is sinking fast. And they have only themselves to blame. They created the monster over the last 30 years plus the time he’s been running for president. Standing aside and letting the villagers through with their pitchforks won’t stop the GOP from getting poked and poked hard.

They’re just as delusional about what cutting ties with Trump would do as they are about people in the real world believing there’s a smoking Benghazi gun somewhere. They’re as reality based in their calculations that dumping Trump now could spare them a down ballot bloodbath as they are reality based about their solutions to poverty — less gay marriage, more religiously-based laws…as long as they aren’t Muslim. Not even the First Amendment can or should protect their religious beliefs, am I right, Republicans?

The problem isn’t Donald Trump; the problem is the rhetoric and political movement that gave rise to him.

Maybe Ted Cruz saved himself by not endorsing Trump at the convention, and maybe John Kasich spared himself by not even showing up even though it was being held in the state he was governor of. But let’s be real — political parties exist on a few different planes. One is the national level, and there are several smaller ones ranging all the way down to a city council member’s seat. Even if the lower run guys survive, and they will because people love their political traditions, they are finished on the national level, at least without a drastic overhaul of their entire operating system.

Their current OS is built mostly on the fear of the real world. Gays are too easily married, women’s vaginae aren’t even caged anymore, and even though racism is completely dead in America, the libtards are making us question whether cops should have carte blanche to shoot everyone, or just the ones with more pigment than they have. All Donald Trump did was to rip off the mask the GOP had been hiding behind since way before Mike Dukakis got torn asunder by a dog whistle ad featuring Willie Horton. Trump showed just how deeply ingrained the GOP has let the racist and otherwise bigoted people this country has been trying for decades to move away from get among their ranks.

It’s not that hard to figure out, really. Political parties need voters to survive. In 1968 when Nixon ran as the law and order candidate, he did so by also embracing the Southern Strategy. Essentially going after members of the opposite party by playing on their racist tendencies. From that moment on, it was a race to the bottom. They thought when they had 12 years of consecutive executive branch rule they’d gotten away with it, and when Dubya gave them another eight it seemed like their eternal tap dance with our idiot fundie cousins would just keep on keepin’ on.

Then McCain pandered and chose Palin. The shroud dropped a little bit then. Ouch.

Then came Mitt Romney’s 47% remark and another blistering defeat at the hands of a Democrat…again.

The unwinding of the Republican Party has been going on for decades now. Every single time they turned harder right, away from modern times, they drove another nail into their presidential coffins. Every time they blew a racist dog whistle about welfare queens while simultaneously making real welfare kings out of giant corporations, they made themselves more irrelevant. In other words — the created the monster they’re trying to take down now, but they’re so full of hubris and their own shit that they’ll ignore it, even when Trump causes an absolute blood bath at the polls.

In fact, that would be the one thing that would actually end up saving the Republican Party — their ability to just ignore reality. Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq? Totes there. Obama a secret communist who hates America and is from Kenya? Yup. That’s real too. To them. So even when Hillary Clinton dances all over Trump’s big orange face, maybe their willful ignorance will save them one last time.

Who knows — maybe hiring a Breitbart douche will save Trump’s campaign. Maybe Americans will be so desperate for change they’ll elect a bag of cow shit. Maybe they didn’t really kill Han Solo because that’s dumb. Maybe I’ll invent the cure to cancer and AIDS the same day I win the lottery. And maybe, just maybe the Republican Party can salvage the shit show of 2016 and win it all.

Or, you know, un-all of that.


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

Comments

comments

About James Schlarmann 1446 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
Twitter Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com