Republicans Prefer Xenophobia To Caring For The Sick Because They’re So Christian

We all remember, I’m sure, from our time in Sunday School that Jesus Christ was a man who believed in taking care of those who are the lowest on the totem pole of society like they were just as important as those at the top. It’s why he washed the feet of beggars, healed the sick, protected women from being stoned to death for adultery, and generally took care of people in a loving and accepting way. There’s a term for the kind of love he supposedly taught, and it’s “agape,” which really means loving everyone equally.

Which is, of course, why modern day Christians in the Republican Party want to take money we’d spend on taking care of the poor and sick and instead spend it on a big, giant wall at our southern border. Nothing says “caring for the least of you” like “Fuck the Mexicans, let’s build a wall and make them pay for it,” of course. And as we watch a bunch of Republicans in Congress — many of whom cling to the Religious Right for votes — repeal the Affordable Care Act and put the health coverage of 20 million people in jeopardy, we get to witness firsthand just how Christ-like the GOP wants to be.

Their xenophobia jibes quite perfectly with their piety, doesn’t it? I grew up in the church. In fact, I grew up in the church during the 1980’s when the Religious Right was really on the rise, and even back then I don’t remember Christianity being so far removed from its roots as it is now. It’s impossible to imagine that if Christ were to be alive today and see Republicans that he wouldn’t treat him like pharisees. Because, well, they act like pharisees. They profess to be closer to God than anyone, but don’t come anywhere near the kindness, love, or benevolence of their lord and savior. Indeed, Jesus would probably come down off the cross and beat most Republicans over the head with it.

It’s really quite hilarious to me that they worship a guy who allegedly healed the sick — literally gave blind people sight — and they think denying the poor health coverage is a good thing. Call me crazy, but I see literally dozens of other developed countries able to manage both the cost and distribution of healthcare most more efficiently than we do. So to me, it’s not a question of ideology so much as it’s just good common sense to every now and then look around the rest of the world and see if anyone’s doing shit better than we are right now.

But the people who are going to be running our government now aren’t the kind to care about what’s done well in other countries. They’re the kind who believe just being born on this continent is somehow magical and imbues your soul with freedom and liberty. That’s why they’re all so naive to think that they won’t be paying for their idiotic border wall.

So just remember, folks, as you’re getting denied health coverage for your pre-existing condition, that while you may not be able to get the medicine you need…at least we’ll be keeping people out of our country. Because that’s super-duper Christian; turning your back on people when they need a safe place to stay. Right, The Virgin Mary?

There is no way on Earth Mexico will ever pay for the stupid wall Trump wants. He may claim they will, but Mexico paying for the wall is like Nixon’s secret plan for winning Vietnam — it’s simply not grounded in reality. He doesn’t have the leverage he thinks he does. I can say with almost near certainty that not a single peso will be sent over the border to pay for the wall, and we’ll be stuck with the bill for it.




I’m sure it’s worth it to poor Republicans to lose their insurance though, because they stopped the insidious liberal agenda of “not being dicks” to poor people dead in its tracks. Now that they get to help make the rich richer again, they’ll be super stoked for at least another four to eight years…until the reckoning for their economic sociopathy comes to fruition. But hey, they’ll just blame that on the libtards in congress or whatever, so no big whoop there either.


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

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About James Schlarmann 1431 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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