Reverend Franklin Graham Furious Dead Woman Doesn’t Condemn Islam

Franklin Graham has his self-righteous panties in a twist because a woman who has been dead for 18 years isn’t speaking out against radical Islamic ideas. How dare Bella Abzug not rise up from her grave and do something about these evil men who use a “small stick” to beat their women. Of course, he also calls out Hillary Clinton and Gloria Steinem, because True Christians ™ treat women with dignity and respect. MY ASS! Excuse me, I’m so sorry. Pardon my language, Reverend. Mother fucking WHAT? I mean, are you serious? This must be one of the most absurd things I have ever heard from you, and believe me, after having spent my entire life listening to your ridiculous ramblings, that’s a goddamn impressive feat.

First of all, Reverend Douche, you are a mega advocate of “Spare the rod, spoil the child”. Let’s start there. You are totally all for beating the holy sin out of a child until his or her will is broken, until the Devil is gone. Your daddy was for it, you are for it, your ConservaChristian buddies are for it, y’all preach it from the pulpits. So this is totes kewl for the kiddies…in fact, it’s Biblically mandated, because JEEZUS. The entire reason the world is going straight to hell and is going to end like any day now is because parents do not beat their children enough in the name of the holy father, and that is according to you, my dear sir. (At least it was last week. This week it’s LGBTQ. But next week it will be spanking again. I can barely keep up!) So I would think you would be ALL FOR beating women. I mean, exactly what is the cut off age here?

Now, in Fundgelical Land, women are not allowed to have any positions of authority in The Church. In fact, we are subjected to the likes of Kirk Cameron, who talk about how we’re s’posed to submit ourselves to our husbands and not even DARE tell them we disagree with them. I was raised to believe my ass belonged in the kitchen making my man a sammich while I was barefoot, pregnant, and fucking happy about it. I’m still not exactly sure where the church stands on marital rape, if that’s really a thing or not, because I’ve gotten different answers on it. So as far as your stance on women being all respected and whatnot, I’m afraid I’m just gonna hafta call BULLSHIT, with all due respect.



Having been raised to be ever so respectful of my elders, and GAWD KNOWS you are gettin’ on up there to the point I’m thinking you might be a wee bit cuckoo, I’m gonna propose that it’s possible here that people in this world have differing priorities. Like, maybe Secretary Clinton (because that’s her proper title, if we’re being RESPECTFUL, Sir) and Ms. Steinem are quite busy right now dealing with things they find to be of a higher level of importance. That doesn’t mean they don’t condemn this horrific behavior, but perhaps they are addressing homelessness, poverty, women’s issues, healthcare, starving children, lack of veterans’ care, gun control, and a myriad of issues right here in the United States of America right now, the very problems that all of your tax-free dollar lobbies have created in the name of Republican JEEZUS, and they are trying to clean up. I mean, I could be wrong, but considering my record of being wrong versus your record of being wrong…bless your heart, Reverend Frankie, my taxed money’s on me this time.

Franklin Graham, do the world a favor. Keep your ranting and raving to yourself. On behalf of pretty much everyone, you’re just embarrassing yourself now.

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About Renee Webb 317 Articles
Renee is a recovering Conservative who lives at the intersection of the Bible Belt and the Hypocrisy Highway.
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