Roger Ailes’ 10 Best Pickup Lines

In news that will surely stun, shock, and sadden the entire country, if not all of Planet Earth, Roger Ailes has been fired asked to resign is out of a job.

Apparently, even at Fox News there is a limit to just how much misogyny and sexual harassment of women that is tolerable. While you dab away the tears that must be flowing as you feel incredibly bad for Roger, we wanted to honor him in the most appropriate way possible. So we curated a list of his ten best pickup lines, because even though he’s now jobless, he’s still one of the world’s leading conservative perverts, and he’s clearly damn good at what he does.

So here now, are Roger Ailes’ 10 Best Pickup Lines.

Ailes1#10. “You’re so fine, I can’t wait to slap 90 pounds of makeup on you and let other men objectify and ogle you on camera, girl!”
#9. “You will soon learn to appreciate me. Now go put on that gold bikini, please.”
#8. “Hey girl, I’ve Benghazing at your ass all night!”

 

#7. “I can’t come unless I call you the N-word. You understand.”RogerAiles
#6. “Do you mind if while we’re doing it I call your vagina ‘my sweet little Republicunt?'”
#5. “You have a little fascist in you? Want some?”
#4. “Baby, I could just eat you up! No, seriously, have you seen me? I would literally eat you, and it would probably be no different than the 12th hamburger of my day. Wanna fuck me now?”





Jabba_the_hutt#3. “Hey baby, is that a gun in your pocket? No? Well get one, I only fuck chicks who are pro-Second Amendment!”
#2. “What say you treat me like the State of Texas and give up control of your vagina to me?”
#1. “You know, they used to call me Tricky Dick around Fox News, and not just because of my love of Nixon!”

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About James Schlarmann 1472 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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