Santorum Slides Out of the Republican Primaries

Finally my prayers are answered and Rick Santorum is leaving the 2016 presidential race. Don’t get me wrong, any contest that has Santorum in it is a good one for politically-oriented comedians. I mean, look at the title of the piece for Chrissakes. This stuff writes itself.

That being said, as I’ve written before about Donald Trump and Ted Cruz, as great as people like they and Santorum are for people like me, jokes and punchlines aren’t worth ruining the country over. Yes, that may sound hyperbolic to say that President Santorum would ooze his nastiness all over the country as to ruin it, especially since that’s the exact kind of hyperbole that he uses about his political adversaries. However, at a time when we just extended protections to LGBTQ Americans in a most historic way last year, it was vital that Santorum be ultimately rejected by the public.

Santorum represents how the GOP got to the place it’s in today. He’s the exact kind of conservative Christian they vacuumed up into their ranks after Barry Goldwater warned them not to. Santorum is stridently and unabashedly opposed — thanks to his abundant Catholicism — to marriage equality and the sexual autonomy of women to choose when they’ll reproduce. He’s a relic, therefore, of a time when we had the mistaken idea we could impose morality on people based on old fashioned social mores that hardly anyone ever followed to begin with. He had to be put in his place this time around, and he was.


Mind you, I’m under no delusions that Santorum was rejected by Republicans because he’s too conservative. Hardly. He was rejected because he himself is not popular enough to compete with Trump or Cruz. Republican base voters are anti-LGBTQ equality and anti-abortion, so it’s not his views that have been rejected, he has been. The result, though, is the same thing. He won’t be in the White House. Ted Cruz probably represents as big a right-wing fundamental bent as Santorum of course but at least one zealot has been drummed out of the field, and with Huckabee leaving this week too, at least the volume of bigots is dropping, if not the intensity of their rhetoric.

I get it; having grown up raised a conservative, I understand their dedication to the morality they see as the path the country should be on is such that they will never give up. They help keep their spirits up by calling themselves victims of society’s turn toward the amoral. Then again, if you ask me I think Santorum and people like him would probably be happier and better off in a country like Afghanistan or in Syria under Daesh rule.

The Taliban, Daesh, and Rick Santorum all believe their religious views should be the guideposts not only for their personal decisions and morality, but for an entire nation of people. They all feel their religious texts are superior to any government document like a constitution. I admit the “American Taliban” thing that they started on The Newsroom has become a bit of a cliché these days, and make no mistake — I’m not accusing Santorum of being a violent terrorist — just a religious extremist who would use the force of government to keep gay people single and pregnant rape victims pregnant. So you decide how close to the bone that puts Santorum and Daesh for yourself.

The race for the GOP’s nomination seems to be coming down to two crazy people, a crazy person who thinks coming in third is winning, and Jeb Bush, whose family should be kept away from the White House like the Zika Virus. With Santorum out, at least our chances of getting stuck with a nutball who talks to his imaginary friend for advice on presidential affairs went down a tiny bit, and in this day and age that’s a victory for humanity, and should be celebrated as such.

Like with a snarky if not obvious headline about his leaving the presidential race.

 

Comments

comments

About James Schlarmann 1463 Articles

Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.

Twitter Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com