Sonny Perdue, Potential Trump Pick For Sec Of Agriculture, Thinks You Can Pray Drought Away

In his ongoing effort to select a diverse, multicultural cabinet, Cheetolini is leaning toward nominating an old white guy, former Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue, for Secretary of Agriculture. The secretary of agriculture is in charge of the U.S. Forest Service as well; included programs are SNAP and WIC, and the Food Safety and Inspection Service.

Back in November, the idea was floated that current Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant would be offered the job, as a reward for being Trumpty Dumpty’s bitch.

Bryant campaigned for Trump in Florida, Pennsylvania and Louisiana, and raise more than $2 million for him in Mississippi in short order. Bryant and Trump reportedly hit it off — Bryant spent a good deal of time with Trump and his family including visits to New York — prompting speculation from Mississippi politicos that Bryant would be in position for a plum assignment in a Trump administration. (Clarion Ledger)

Unfortunately it does not look like we will be getting rid of Reverend Phil any time soon; like most other people who worked closely with the campaign, he appears to have been left behind when it really matters.


Goveenor Perdue does not believe in climate change. He has openly mocked “the left” and the “mainstream media” for their beliefs, because his are so much less ridiculous.

Climate change, we’re told, is responsible for heavy rains and drought alike. Whether temperatures are unseasonably low or high, global warming is the culprit. Snowstorms, hurricanes, and tornadoes have been around since the beginning of time, but now they want us to accept that all of it is the result of climate change. It’s become a running joke among the public, and liberals have lost all credibility when it comes to climate science because their arguments have become so ridiculous and so obviously disconnected from reality. (Think Progress)

Yes, those crazy liberals and their insanely ridiculous science that is not rooted in reality! Governor Perdue has a much more reasonable solution. When Georgia was enduring serious drought conditions, he called upon all the Protestant ministers (and only Protestant) to come together and pray for rain. Yes, that was his solution. Climate change science is absurd, but asking god for rain is absolutely sane and reasonable. Let’s put this guy in charge of agriculture!

His bizarre approach to weather went a step further in 2005, when he preemptively asked schools to take two “early snow days,” despite a total absence of snow, ostensibly to save the government money on the diesel fuel costs.

Yes. Totally reasonable and sane. If we say it enough, it might start to sound true.

Multiple Herr Hair policies promised during the campaign threaten to make things quite difficult for farmers. Perdue’s background as the founder of a grain company could be seen as beneficial. Changes in trade agreements could impact exports, and immigration reform would likely cause significant labor shortages. (Star Trib)

At least Perdue has held public office, which is a step up from most of the appointees. Perhaps he can pray for the rest of them, Protestants only of course, in lieu of experience or training.

About Renee Webb 321 Articles
Renee is a recovering Conservative who lives at the intersection of the Bible Belt and the Hypocrisy Highway.
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