If Racist Fuck Steve King Wants a Wall So Badly, Let Him Use His Congressional Salary

There’s an entire political party that’s based its survival around helping ignorant white fucks feel important and special. But you know, Iowa’s Chief Racist Dipshit Fuckface Steve King still somehow manages to “shock” me now and then.

Let me be clear: I’m not shocked or surprised to find out that “Cantaloupe Calves” King suggested we fund President Donald Trump’s idiotic and unnecessary southern border wall by cutting food stamps and gutting Planned Parenthood spending. I’m just shocked that it a) took him that long into Trump’s presidency to suggest fucking over the poor to help ignorant white folks living thousands of miles away from the border safe and that b) he said it out loud.

Usually these kinds of shitty things are said in more nuanced ways.

Then again, Steve King is a fucking idiot. And fucking idiots don’t do subtlety, do they? I’m not really all that surprised to find out that dipshit suggested we take food out of poor children’s mouths and stomachs to fund his racist wall.

Net migration from Mexico — documented and undocumented — has been stagnant since the Obama years. If people want to “sneak into” this country, they have a lot of other ways to do so besides coming in from Mexico. I maintain to this day that if Mexican immigrants spoke English and looked like Canadians then Bo Jed Cornpone McGee in Hobart, Arkansas wouldn’t be so anxious to shut the border down.

“I would find half of a billion of dollars of that right out of Planned Parenthood’s budget,” King said. “And the rest of it could come out of food stamps and the entitlements that are being spread out for people who have not worked in three generations.” (source)

Good Christ that’s a whole lot of stupid to unpack, isn’t it?

For starters, de-funding Planned Parenthood always sounds like a kick-ass move to conservatives. Always. That’s because their theocratic, misogynistic heads are crammed so far inside their assholes they don’t pay attention to the results of such disastrous moves. Like, say, when the lantern-jawed bigot we currently have as a Vice President gave Indiana an HIV outbreak as governor because of his high-minded, moralistic stance on needle exchanges. Or when, more recently, when Texas Republicans defunded Planned Parenthood and saw a spike in teen abortions because, you know, they couldn’t get access to cheap and free contraceptives to prevent them.

Apparently in Texas, Republicans still believe abstinence-only education works. It doesn’t.

Next, let’s talk about the math. King’s math. I mean, we shouldn’t be surprised that a guy who believes in Trickle Down to this day still doesn’t get how math works. But, how fucking laughable is it that he thinks taking half a billion dollars from Planned Parenthood and throwing it the wall will make a dent in the budget? The most recent estimates for the cost of the wall are in the tens of billions of dollars

Taking money from Planned Parenthood won’t even pay the salaries of the engineers designing the wall for shits’ sake.




Now, onto the dog whistle racism of his “people who have not worked in three generations” quip.

For starters, again, math isn’t this racist fuck’s strong suit. Three generations of people would be, roughly, sixty years. Is he really saying that there are communities of people who in sixty years have never held a job? In sixty years these people have always only taken government hand outs and never once, not a single time, even tried to get a job?

Yes, of course he’s saying all that. Why? Because it’s dog whistle racism, that’s why.

When you’re a Republican and you start talking about generational addiction to government instead of work, you’re only trying to evoke one image in your constituents’ minds — the Black Welfare Queen of Yore. But the thing is — all their carping and bitching about welfare got President Bill Clinton — in the fucking ’90’s — to do welfare reform, which included work requirements.

You can’t just keep sucking off the teat for generations, not without actually trying to find work. That was the arrangement King’s own party pushed for. Of course there are assholes that game the system. Capitalism creates a chasm in the lower classes that it’s hard to get over without government assistance and it can be hard to move up because more income means less support. But it’s rare that increases in the bare minimum that the truly poverty-stricken get will be enough to cover what they lose in benefits. None of that means that the old Republican trope of the black women with sixteen illegitimate children from fourteen different men is real.

King is just a racist. Pure and simple. Not every Republican is racist. But Steve King is racist.

So, you know…I have an idea. If King wants this piece of shit wall so much, if he wants to gargle so much Trump cock, he can do it on his own dime. Let him show those mean ol’ Planned Parenthood abortion mongers and the vile Welfare Queens how it’s done! Make that sacrifice. Of course his salary won’t make a dent, but neither will defunding Planned Parenthood. And sure, he will be broke but unlike the real working class in this country, he has a backup plan — lobbyist cash.

All of this, every last bit of it, shouldn’t even be germane to the discussion. That’s the hilarious part. Trump told everyone Mexico would be paying for the wall. Since that has turned into just one of a whole host of lies and broken promises, here we have the GOP’s racist mascot insisting we, the people, pay for it instead.

It’s put up or shut up time for America’s premier white nationalist Iowan. I’m realllllllllyyyyy hoping it’s shut up time though, if I’m being completely honest.

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About James Schlarmann 1408 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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