Please stop bitching about the media covering Trump

Look, America, I get it. It’s really easy to get burned out on a flappy-mouthed, bloviating bastard like Donald J. Trump. But you have to stop bitching about the media — and those of us on the outskirts of it — covering him.

I hate to break it to you, but Donald Trump is newsworthy. Yes, he is a buffoon, and yes his buffoonery often skips into the territory of scary, authoritarian craziness. But he’s also the leading candidate for one the country’s two major party’s presidential nomination this year. So even if he wasn’t a toxic piece of shit, the media would be covering him just as much. That’s how it works. Think of all the attention slack-jawed morons like Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann got in 2012 when it was looking like one of those derp-fried dipshits would be the Republican nominee. What’s happening with Trump is no different, it’s just that unlike those two dopes, he has staying power because he’s capitalizing on the hatred of all politicians that the GOP has fomented for the last few decades.

Sure, it might seem really strange that the press and everyone else would spend so much time covering the man who is literally the most loathed presidential candidate in our lifetimes, but actually no it’s not. The fact that he is so despised only makes him more newsworthy. I’m sorry that this is the case, truly I am. But the media didn’t let him onto the debate stage; the Republican National Committee did. Don’t blame the people fighting cancer for it attacking your body, and while we’re at it — don’t fucking ignore cancer!

When he entered the race, Trump began immediately throwing bombs. He outright accused the country of Mexico, our southern neighbors, of purposefully sending violent criminals — “rapists, criminals, and drug dealers” as Trump put it — into this country to rid themselves of the problem and unleash it on us instead. This is commentary worthy of press coverage. The fights and violence carried out against protesters at his rallies are newsworthy. Are they fun to watch? Of course not, but if you want to bury your head in the sand do it yourself, just don’t ask us to go along with you.

Even if we were to ignore the horrid shit that came out of his mouth about Mexicans, he still is the guy pushing for blocking all Muslims from entering the country. I mean, if you’re cool with stuff like internment camps and special patches for people of a certain religious bent, then go for it. But you know, not to go all “Godwin” on you, but I often wonder if people in Germany in the 1930’s were always telling the media, “Stop covering that Hitler guy and he’ll just go away!”

And then, even if you just casually toss aside the racism, xenophobia and Islamaphobia, dude just told the world he’d want punishments for women who get an abortion in his America. Because in his America, a woman wouldn’t have that right to choose what’s best for her. But even most strident anti-abortionists don’t come right out and advocate for punishing women who get an abortion if it’s made illegal. Now, they’ll want to come out and say it, but they’ve at least been trained in societal graces enough to know they shouldn’t.

A lot of us don’t want Trump to be president, but you don’t cure cancer by simply ignoring it. It’s inconvenient, it’s bewildering, but it’s also fact that he’s currently the odds-on favorite to be the Republican nominee. Therefore, the media would be negligent not to cover the horrible stuff he says. And look, make yourself feel better with this if you want to — the moment he’s no longer in the race or a front runner, the media will stop covering him so much…and just focus on Ted Cruz, who is literally the same person as Trump, just less openly disgusting.

So take your pick. Do you want wall-to-wall coverage of Trump or Cruz? You’re going to get it whether you want it or not, so you can either change the channel, watch, or I guess keep wringing your hands and demanding your friends not share Trump stories. Because that’ll beat him in the fall and stuff.



About James Schlarmann 1480 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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