A small group of musicians has been hired to repeatedly play the song “Nearer, My God, to Thee” for the entirety of the last Republican National Committee Convention this summer, according to party officials.
RNC spokesman Sean Spicer said a string quartet will perform the venerable hymn over and over again for four days in Cleveland’s Quicken Loans Arena to help comfort GOP delegates and officials as the party convenes for the final time, beginning July 18.
“We know everyone will be anxious, and even fearful, about what will happen once the party is no more after this convention,” Spicer said, “but the RNC believes the noble thing to do is to have on hand a band steadfastly playing a stirring and soothing song as the Grand Old Party plunges into the abyss of political history.”
Spicer said Republican officials and most delegates realize the GOP is doomed as a viable political party with Donald Trump as its presidential nominee, adding there’s nothing they can do now to save their beloved institution.
“Our fate is sealed,” Spicer explained. “The least we could do for those brave souls who refuse to abandon the party in its final moments is offer a beautiful melody to uplift and calm them while gathered in the convention hall as they witness the demise of the party of Lincoln.”
Spicer also said he hopes history will note that as the one-time political juggernaut disappeared from the American electoral landscape, its leaders maintained their dignity and did their utmost to solace their distressed patrons.
Republished from The Red Shtick.