flat earthers Archives - Modern Liberals

Betsy DeVos Orders Immediate Flattening Of All School Globes

July 15, 2017

Just moments after being confirmed as the new Education Secretary, Betsy DeVos orders all the globes in American schools flattened. […]

Humor/Satire

Trump To Rebuild Infrastructure By Sucking Own Dick In Front Of Ohio Construction Workers For An Hour

April 22, 2018

This story first appeared on The Political Garbage Chute. AIR FORCE ONE — On his way back to the nation’s capital after delivering a long-winded, winding, often times unfocused speech to tout his infrastructure spending plan, […]

Humor/Satire

Trump Sends National Guard To Border To Stop Taco Bell’s Invasion Of America

April 21, 2018

This story first appeared on Alternative Facts. WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, President Donald Trump signed an executive order directing the National Guard to send troops to states that share a border with Mexico. While Department of […]

Humor/Satire

California Dispensary Returns Jeff Sessions’ Lost ID

April 20, 2018

This story first appeared on The Pastiche Post. EL DORADO VERDE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Earlier this year, Attorney General Jeff Sessions made a visit to Sacramento and formally announced that the Trump administration is suing California […]

Humor/Satire

Trump Issues Executive Order To Comey Demanding Picture Book Edition Of His Book

April 19, 2018

This story first appeared on Alternative Facts. WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump lashed out on Twitter at former FBI Director James Comey on Twitter this morning. In a pair of vicious tweets, Comey is painted […]

Humor/Satire

Obama Volunteers To ‘Show Him How Real Presidents Take Criticism’ And Take Trump’s Place At Correspondents Dinner

April 17, 2018

This story first appeared on The Political Garbage Chute. WASHINGTON, D.C.– Former President Barack Obama has reached out and offered to help current President Donald Trump out of a potentially embarrassing situation. Reportedly, Mr. Obama called […]