To The Collaborators on National Review’s Anti-Trump Issue: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

There is nothing more satisfying than being a liberal comedian who covers politics and watching the Republican Party immolate.

The latest evidence that this years-long civil war is coming to a head is brought to us by The National Review‘s hefty tome of anti-Donald Trump essays collected from various conservative pundits like Thomas Sewell, Rich Lowry, and Michael Medved. Twenty different conservative luminaries all set their sights on the billionaire reality TV star that currently has their party by the tail and is not letting go, and if you needed evidence that the Republicans are scared to death that Trump will be their candidate, you won’t after the reading the essays.

After reading a handful of the works, I have only one response: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Why am I laughing about this? Because the assholes made their Trumpy bed and now they have to lie in it. This mess goes back decades, not just to the start of the Obama administration, but all the way back to Reagan’s complete character assassination of Jimmy Carter. Former President Carter went from being a good man who was handed a ton of shitty things no president could have handled perfectly into the world’s worst and comically inferior president of all time. Reagan forever galvanized in the Republican brain that only Republicans are worthy to be president, and only Republican presidents are worth anything. This was the first major disconnection from reality that conservatives sold their constituents in the last 30 years, and it was all downhill to Trump Land from there.

They squeaked by in the late 80’s getting Bush Sr. elected, but by the end of his first term, the bloom was off the rose and average Americans weren’t so sure they needed to stay puritanically obsessed with gutting the government and its New Deal that had actually helped grow our nation’s middle class to where it was when Reagan and his pals decimated it. Somehow, after a decade of pretty decent Democratic executive leadership though, Republicans took back the White House in 2000, and the country still was figuring out just how bat shit the right-wing had gotten.

Growing up on the right-wing during the 80’s and 90’s I can assure you — they get very, very bat shit crazy. They won’t admit it, but they closed up on themselves. Blaming the “liberal media bias,” they started their very own news network that wouldn’t slant the news in any way…except when they needed to force it so far to the right that Fascists were like, “Uh, slow down guys.” But between Fox News and the likes of Limbaugh in their ears for three hours each day, telling them all government is bad (remember Reagan’s comment about government being the problem, not the solution?), that Democrats are evil liberals, and that everyone under the sun was trying to rob them of the America they loved and turn it into a socialist, gay marrying evil empire of anti-God, anti-American hatred, they were all doomed to buy into the bullshit that Trump is spewing now.

Because here’s what happened, they were incensed about Clinton winning in 1992 and started truly fostering and believing some of the most outlandish conspiracy theories about him. He killed Vince Foster. Hillary’s a secret lesbian communist who is only married to Bill so they can be the world’s most powerful couple. Shit like that became reality to them, and that’s why it wasn’t too hard to buy into the Birther stuff when Obama came along. They were preconditioned to accept conspiracy theories as reality.

So you know what? I don’t have any sympathy for them; none. All Donald trump is really doing is saying the things out loud and in plain language that Republican politicians have been saying in coded, dog-whistle language for decades. Do these twenty geniuses of the right who penned their essays for National Review really think that their rhetoric about the poor is much different than Trump’s? Do they really think their reluctance to view immigrants as anything but sub-human potential Democrats is any different than Trump’s?

They created Trump, or at least they created the environment in which someone like Trump could swoop-in and seduce their base. People like Lowry have fed their readers every single red meat rhetorical jab at the poor, at immigrants, at Muslims as they could. Remember, they’re the ones telling us that Obama is too soft on Muslims after terror attacks, right? Do they really think there is no connection between their subtle, soft hatred and the hatred that Trump stokes? None of them will answer my question so I will for them — Yes they do think all that.

No one should feel sorry for a single Republican or their punditry class. When you lie down with dumb, easily misled, ignorant, racist, homophobic, Islamaphobic and xenophobic dogs, you get…

Donald Trump as your candidate.




About James Schlarmann 1479 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
Twitter Auto Publish Powered By :