Todd Starnes’ Bizarre Cake Fetish

Fox News’ Todd Starnes has an unhealthy obsession with cakes. Perhaps he had a traumatic experience as a small child, and his mommy did not love him enough to provide him with a three-tiered Barney Fife oozing chocolate masterpiece every year on his birthday. Or maybe he simply needs a stripper to jump out of a gigantic cake once in awhile to compensate for the fact that he isn’t getting any. But whatever, only Todd could make a career out of faux outrage over a freaking dessert.

What now? Oh, Mr. Whore Myself For Ratings is all worked up over a cake for a police officer’s retirement party. Some poor, severely underpaid Walmart employee made a bad decision, and cue the butt-hurt:

Three Walmart workers in McDonough, Ga., refused to decorate a “thin blue line” cake for a police officer’s retirement party because they said it was racist.

A number of my Georgia readers alerted me to the story and on Saturday night I spoke directly with the police officer’s daughter. She asked that I not divulge her name and I’ve agreed to do that.

So how did Walmart right their wrong? The answer to that question is going to curdle your Fruit Loops, folks.

The manager offered to make and decorate a new cake. But there was just one problem — the cake decorators refused to comply.

“So the manager told me that he would decorate it — but it looked terrible,” the police officer’s daughter said. “It doesn’t look professional.”

Let me step in here for a moment. You expected a Walmart cake to look professional? There’s your first problem. It’s Walmart.



No offense to Walmart employees intended, but it’s Walmart. WALMART. There’s a reason why the prices are that low, Walmart does not hire professional cake decorators. If you want a really nice cake, you go to someone who doesn’t also sell chewing tobacco, tires, fishing hooks and diapers – while only 3 out of 30 checkout lanes are open.

I’ve attached photographs of Walmart’s handiwork — it’s absolutely embarrassing and unacceptable.

“I work in retail,” the officer’s daughter told me. “If I didn’t want to deal with a customer — and said ‘No’ — I would get fired.”

Unfortunately, her father’s retirement party is Sunday night – so there’s no time to go elsewhere.

“It irritates me that in Charlotte, North Carolina, the Walmart was looted and the cops were protecting them,” she said. “And you can’t make a cake for the people who are protecting you?”

Walmart needs to make this right and they can start by delivering a professionally decorated cake to the police officer’s family.

The three cake decorators need to be told: either decorate the cake or be fired.

Just because Walmart is the home of low prices, doesn’t mean they have to hire a bunch of low class, anti-cop bigots.

Okay. Was this racist? No, I don’t think so. Did the employees make a mistake? Yes, probably. I wasn’t there, and I do not know the full story. However, knowing Todd’s history, I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark and guess that there is a lot more to this, and in the coming days we will find out it is much ado about nothing. But that really is not the moral of today’s lesson. I only had to search for three seconds to find this:

Colorado double standard: Bakers should not be forced to make anti-gay cakes

Bill Jack wants to make one thing perfectly clear: Bakers should not be forced to make a cake that would violate their conscience or freedom of expression.

To be clear, Jack believes the bakeries had the right to deny him service. His point was to draw attention to the hypocrisy.

“I stand for liberty for all, not liberty for some,” he said. “If we don’t have liberty for all, then we have liberty for none.”

“These cake artists should not be forced to violate their conscience, but clearly the commission should have done the same for Jack Phillips,” he said. “He risks losing his lifelong business altogether if he continues to run it consistent with his faith. Such blatant religious discrimination has no place in our society.”

That’s a great point. If the owner of Azucar Bakery can run her business according to her beliefs – why can’t the owner of the Masterpiece Cakeshop?

I’m sorry Todd…what was that? I couldn’t quite hear you over the sounds of your cognitive dissonance.

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About Renee Webb 322 Articles

Renee is a recovering Conservative who lives at the intersection of the Bible Belt and the Hypocrisy Highway.

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