Tomi Lahren Slathers Motor-Mouthed Verbal Diarrhea All Over #VeteransForKaepernick

Tomi Lahren is a high-speed, coke-fueled binge of moronically spewed and questionably formulated logic that the Internet keeps ramming up my asshole. Like any good suppository, she tends to elicit a torrent of negativity within me, and now, I’m forced to release, again. Lahren’s first anti-Colin Kaepernick rant was what put the spewing bobble head on my radar, and I tried to get her to answer a simple question on Twitter to no avail.

I answered it for her, here.

My Tweet Reply To Tomi Lahren Went Viral And She Ignored It, So I’ll Just Answer For Her

Her first segment went so viral that a backlash hagtag was created called #VeteransForKaepernick. That must have gotten under Tomi’s skin, because she slapped together another pedantic, 90-mile-per-hour tirade about the hashtag. I will warn you before watching her segment to have a vomit bag handy.

Whether she said explicitly in her first segment that she doesn’t support Kaepernick’s right to protest, her subtext did. Nothing is more patriotic or speaks to American values better than a lone person taking a principled stand for an issue they are passionate about. Yet people like Tomi — who swear to all that is holy to love the Constitution near sexually — want to dog Kaepernick out and call him unpatriotic?

Bullshit.

The premise for Lahren’s rant is that black people just don’t have it as bad as they believe, or the media tells them. In her segment on #VeteransForKaepernick she implies that veterans are only standing up for Kaep’s right to protest, not the message.  I’ll just go ahead and provide you with the top-rated comment on her Facebook video post.

VetForKaep

 

When Lahren says that if you think you’re oppressed in this country, you should go somewhere in the world where real oppression takes place, she’s ignoring and mocking the thousands of documented cases of abuse the Department of Justice found in their scathing reports on both Ferguson, Missouri’s  and Baltimore, Maryland’s police forces. Those reports are the proof of oppression Tomi was demanding, but whatever. I’ll remember Tomi’s admonishment later this year when she tells us Christians are being oppressed because you can’t say “Merry Christmas, You Godless, Heathen, Asshole Liberal Faggots” without people complaining.

“If you think you’re oppressed because resisting arrest and assaulting an officer might result in deadly force, you don’t get what oppression means,” Tomi shouted at us.

Except, neither resisting arrest nor assaulting an officer are felonies that carry the death penalty. Someone should tell this new douche on the block that we have trials for a reason. Historically we’ve preferred for suspects to get a fair trial, which you can’t do when cops are killing suspects.

Despite her protestations otherwise, she did subtly imply she didn’t think Kaepernick’s First Amendment rights were valid. She all but demanded he stand up for the anthem or leave the country, or at the very least give up his paycheck to purchase his right to protest. The line that had me most furious, though, was this one…

“Did you know that police officers are 18.5 times more likely to be shot by a black man than to shoot a black man? This rampant police brutality narrative you’re pushing is baloney!” – Tomi Lahren 8/31/2016

The statistic she quotes is from a book by right-wing author Heather Mac Donald. Ms. Mac Donald is someone who’s never met a problem facing the black community she couldn’t blame on black people instead of any hint of racism. So even if I can trust her numbers, it’s just and irrelevant talking point.




Then again, this Washington Post piece has a pretty good little quote that I think Heather Mac Donald and Lahren should address:

More white offenders than black offenders killed police between 1980 and 2013. Police officers were killed in ambush attacks by just as many black offenders as white offenders in the past three decades. There are no simple conclusions or trends that can be gleaned from the database alone, but it provides context that based on the raw numbers, officers are no more likely to be killed by black offenders than white offenders. (source)

Maybe we should look to the root cause of what is creating so much opportunity for cops to be shot by black men. Something tells me if you control for, oh, the war on drugs, and remove gang and drug related incidents, the numbers would look different.

This issue is about the times that no one would rationally expect a suspect could wind-up dead. Routine traffic stops, or arrests over petty theft come to mind. It’s what happens when a black kid has a toy gun, versus what happens to the suspect who goes into a black church and commits mass homicide. One comes away alive, the other doesn’t. It doesn’t matter what the odds of a black man shooting a white cop are; it matters when routine stuff goes sideways, and cops’ first instincts are to kill, not arrest.

Seeing direct evidence of the oppression that Kaepernick is protesting isn’t that hard; when your eyes are open to it, and you’re not just reading right-wing news sites.

  • This fact-laden WaPo piece proves the rate and sheer number of cops killed on the job has plummeted over the last couple decades.
  • This Vanity Faire piece states that “An independent analysis of Washington Post data on police killings found that, “when factoring in threat level, black Americans who are fatally shot by police are, in fact, less likely to be posing an imminent lethal threat to the officers at the moment they are killed than white Americans fatally shot by police.””
  • Have you heard right-wingers say that cops kill more white people as proof that racism doesn’t exist among our police force? Show them this piece from Chicago Tribune that backs the number up, but also states that black people are two and a half times more likely to be killed by cops than white people are in similar circumstances.

Tomi Lahren is a fast talking, somehow more annoying version of Ann Coulter. She professes to love liberty and America, but when she’s confronted with what America really looks like, she plugs her ears, covers her eyes, and relies on shallow, largely racist and xenophobic rhetoric to patch the holes in her ideological glass house she’s been heaving bricks from for her entire career, such as it is thus far.


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

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About James Schlarmann 1433 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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