Memo To The Trump Administration: The White House Is Not A Safe Space

How many times have you been called a “snowflake” recently? Probably a whole lot if you’re a liberal and you express an opinion online. How many times have you been sarcastically told, as a liberal, to “go find your safe space” in the last few weeks? My guess is quite a few if you’re, again, a liberal with an opinion.

You know what though? I’m starting to think it’s President-Elect Yellow Stream and his close circle that are the weaklings.

Someone should grab hold of the Trump team and tell them that the White House is not a safe space. If you go out and get yourself elected president, you have to be willing to take criticism. Just ask Obama. For eight years he’s been called every derogatory name under the sun. He had his birthplace questioned because of the color of his skin — but Obama’s not the only president to take abuse.

Dubya got slammed as a fool. Reagan got mocked for being a doddering old fool with a corrupt, war mongering cabinet. Carter is beaten up on to this day by conservatives. Every single president is the subject of critique, ridicule, and yes, even disrespect. In case Kellyanne Conway, Sean Spicer, or Trump himself are wondering, here’s the reason why being the butt of jokes, getting made fun of, and insulted is part of the job they signed up for:

Maybe you don’t think that the Trump team really does think the White House should be a safe space, but allow me to make my case.

Exhibit A: Trump Won’t Stop Tweeting About The Election

Over and over again, Trump has tweeted about either how big his win was (it wasn’t), how big his movement is, and how he would have gotten more votes than anyone if the Electoral College weren’t in play. This is utter garbage, but it does belie the fact that Trump can’t get over the fact that he won the election, but couldn’t win the popular vote. More than being the commander in Chief, Trump wants to be well liked.

So when he doesn’t feel he’s getting the respect he deserves, he lashes out. He wants and needs a safe space from those mean ol’ journalists who dare to quote him verbatim and ask him to elaborate on his ideas and give us specifics. He’s trying to create his own safe space within the media landscape by ignoring outlets when they question him, and embracing outlets when they’re Breitbart or Fox News.

Exhibit B: Kellyanne Conway Is Complaining About Democrats Delegitimizing Trump’s Presidency And Being Disrespectful To Him

This might be the most laughable thing ever. Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s campaign manager –who will also get a senior level position in the new administration — is going around to different media outlets kvetching about how liberals are “delegitimizing” Trump. I mean, does Kellyanne not realize she’s a Republican? Does she not realize who her boss is, and how he got his start in politics? Here’s a hint Kels, he put himself on the political map by trying to delegitimize a sitting U.S. president because he was black — er I mean because of, like, concerns over his birth certificate…because he was black.

Trump Campaign Manager Condemns Left for Delegitimizing the President-elect

Kellyanne Conway believes that our constitutional system relies on the good-faith cooperation of the minority party in Washington – and that the very least that party can do is acknowledge the legitimacy of the duly elected president.


Trump is a legitimate president, sure. But that doesn’t mean the many millions more Americans who voted for someone else have to respect him. Legitimate and worthy of respect are two different things. President Harding was legitimately elected and he had one of the most scandal-plagued and corrupt administrations ever. Richard Nixon was legitimately elected and he was one of the most tyrannical, self-serving assholes to be president.

You’d think that the “Maobama is a secret Sharia loving commie” crowd would get the concept that just because you take the oath office, you don’t get to be free from criticism, scorn, and derision for four to eight years. That’s not how it works.

Exhibit C: His Incoming Press Secretary Is A Fascist Goon Who Hates The Free Press

Okay, so the title for this exhibit is hyperbole, I admit. But I do believe that Sean Spicer, Trump’s incoming Press Secretary, behaved like a goon after Trump’s shit show of a press conference. I suppose it shouldn’t be a surprise that the administration so desperate to make their Dear Leader look good that they filled the room with paid staffers who applauded and cheered at a fucking press conference wouldn’t get how the press works, or what it means for them actually be “free.” But still, after Trump was rude and flippant with a CNN reporter and called his network “Fake News,” Spicer reportedly told the reporter he’d be barred from any other press conferences in the future if he didn’t show more respect to Trump.

Then, hours after the press conference was over, Spicer tweeted this happy horse shit:

No. No. And Fuck no. I mean, sorry Mr. Spicer, but your Dear Leader is the pluperfect bully. He has lost all high ground in complaints about decorum. The guy who did this, mocking a reporter with disabilities, isn’t allowed to complain about how he’s treated.

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The guy who implied that Ted Cruz’s dad was in on the JFK assassination plot just because he’s Cuban and his son was Trump’s political opponent doesn’t get to bitch about unfair things said about him. The guy who started his ascent to the Oval Office by calling every Mexican immigrant either a rapist, drug dealer, or murderer doesn’t have any moral high ground. Trump gets no respect because he shows no respect. If these fascist punks think we, the people, will be cowed, they underestimate us.




Sean should shut the fuck up and go tell his boss to release his taxes. Stop tweeting bullying remarks at companies he doesn’t like or his political opponents. He should take the fucking job seriously. Until he treats his opponents honorably he deserves no honor or respect. The White House is not a safe space.


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

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About James Schlarmann 1446 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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