Trump Thought He Could Do ‘The Apprentice’ From The White House Because Of Course He Did

Call me crazy, but I put a pretty healthy amount of value on the FiveThirtyEight algorithm. It’s true that no one and nothing is perfect, of course, but Nate Silver’s mathematical formulas absolutely nailed the 201 mid-terms and the 2012 presidential election. So when I check the current modeling and prediction for this year’s contest and it looks like it does below, it makes me realize that the Derp That Laid The Golden Dumb, Donald Trump, will one day soon very likely be a tremendously hilarious historical footnote, and all the material he’s given this particular political satirist will be but a faint and glorious memory.

NS 8-22-2016

So I’m going to soak up and write about all the idiocy that’s left until this presidential election cycle is mercifully over. Sure, if Trump somehow overcomes the most incredibly long odds ever to become the first sack of diarrhea to be elected president, then I’ll have both the opportunity to eat my hat for writing this, and more importantly for me, the chance to write about Trump’s stupid shit for the entire two weeks or so he’ll manage to be president before he’s impeached.

Like, take for example, the fact that Trump apparently really thought he’d be able to do “The Apprentice” while also being the leader of the “free” world. No, really, I’m not kidding. The Huffington Post and several other outlets have reported this week on a Vanity Fair piece in which it was revealed that Trump and NBC’s CEO discussed at length whether the alleged-billionaire should run for the presidency, and if he won, to then do Trump’s reality show while also performing his duties as President of the United States.

Vanity Fair contributing editor Sarah Ellison wrote in June about a 2011 conversation between Trump and NBC Universal Chief Executive Officer Steve Burke. She also discussed the story this weekend on “The Takeaway” podcast. (source)

NBC eventually told Trump they didn’t want him to run for president, and then last year they severed their relation with him and canceled the show over his racist comments about Mexican immigrants. But the real story here, I think, is that it’s the pluperfect example of Republican hypocrisy when it comes to a presidential work ethic, or presidential propriety in general.

One of the right’s most often used attacks against President Obama has been the “golf course” attack. Meaning, they love to imply that he’s spent more time on the golf course than he has in the Oval Office. He hasn’t, but their point is that clearly that Black Democrat in the White House cares more about himself and personal enjoyment and fame than he does about the American people. I wonder how any of them would react to finding out that the Trump had seriously wanted to be a realityTV host while also holding the nuclear launch codes.

Something tells me they’ll never acknowledge this story.


But I truly hope some debate moderator with even a soupcon of gumption asks him about it on national TV. I want him to explain to Republican voters, who will then swallow his excuse wholesale, why it’d be totally fine for him to be a star of a terrible realityTV show while also the most powerful person in the world. I’d love to hear them equivocate for him, and imply that liberals are being mean or personally vindictive about Trump’s distractions, while their own attacks on Obama’s rather reasonable golf and vacation schedule are not just okay, they’re blessed by the hand of God herself.

For years now, we’ve heard righty-tighties carp about Benghazi because in their minds it proves that Hillary is all about Hillary. So for them to nominate an attention whore like Trump put so much irony in the air, it’s hard to get a good, deep breath in my lungs. Donald Trump is Sarah Palin with smaller tits and probably fewer usable brain cells, but remember — it’s Barack Obama with his Harvard Law degree and twelve years experience teaching constitutional law that’s the stupid one, right? Donald Trump wanted to host a “non-scripted” TV show while also serving as president, but it’s Obama who is a self-aggrandizing asshole right? Donald Trump is the guy who wants to toss the First Amendment out if you’re a Muslim, but Obama’s the un-American one, right?

It’s a good thing I love redundancy in my life, or I’d probably be really tired of writing about duplicitous Republican values by now.


Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

 

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About James Schlarmann 1507 Articles
James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.
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