Donald Trump Thanks Carryn Owens For Her Husband’s Sacrifice By Pimping Her As A Political Pawn

I don’t give a shit how many records the applause break for Carryn Owens was during Donald Trump’s speech before a joint session of congress, it was cheap, disgusting, cynical political theater and if the orange twat waffle were capable of it, this act should send shock waves guilt reverberating throughout his disgusting body.

In a torrential downpour of evidence that the Trump Administration is the most vapid, shallow, ill-prepared, unqualified, and downright unpresidential administration in the history of this nation, this might just take the taco. Excuse me, I forgot which administration we’re talking about here; so not the taco. It takes the tuna fish sandwich on white bread with extra mayo. The act of putting slain SEAL William “Ryan” Owens’ widow in the gallery, pointing her out, and then leading the nation in a gross, shallow act of nationalistic voyeurism should make every decent American’s skin crawl.

Why?

Because Ms. Owens wouldn’t have been in the position to trade her grief for being a political football without Trump’s colossal fuck-up in the first place, that’s why. Let’s not forget that just hours before bravely propping her up, Trump was busy blaming his generals — who he said during the campaign he was smarter than — for Carryn’s husband’s death. Well, them and Barack Obama. But of course, the Obama team passed on the operation and left it to Trump’s administration to recalculate and either approve or delay it again.

So not only is SEAL Owens’ wife selling his memory for cheap political points, she’s doing so for the guy who was literally not even in the situation room as her husband was undertaking this raid. I’m not saying her tears weren’t real. That was a very emotional moment, I’m sure. But her tears rang hollow to me at the end of it all. She let her real tears be exploited as cheap, cynical political props. Not only did she help Trump excuse himself from any responsibility (again, imagine the horror on the right if Obama), she gave him good PR.

That, to me, is inexcusable. Shame on Trump for parading her around. But shame on her for being willing to be exploited like that. I’m not trying to shit on a widow here…but that was bar none the most disgusting thing I’ve seen on the floor of Congress in my life. She was either a willing participant, or willingly participated and was taken advantage of.

Let’s also not ever forget that despite what Trump conveniently mentioned his dude Gen. Mattis said about it — this raid was a fucking unmitigated disaster. It doesn’t matter what intel we got out of it; it was botched. Civilians died, including a little American girl whose only crime was being in the wrong place at the clearly wrong time.

I’m also going to vomit if I hear one more idiot call this moment “presidential.” Using a dead seal’s wife as a political prop like some shitty haired version of Carrot Top doesn’t equal “presidential.” In fact, the reality is that this was the least presidential moment of the night. Imagine in Obama had paraded around a dead SEAL’s wife. The right would have been howling, and genuinely apoplectic. And you know what? They’d be right. This moment wreaked of cynicism, which isn’t illegal…just gross.

It greatly cheapens the sacrifice SEAL Owens made because it essentially means he died so that an orange-skinned oligarch could pass the buck while simultaneously siphoning off praise from Owens and his wife onto himself. That’s what he wanted to do last night with Ms. Owens, make himself look good. I’ve been an American for all 36 of my years, and I’m used to blatant nationalist rhetorical bullshit.

This was a new low, even for us, and the worst part is it wasn’t just to excuse away our bullying and meddling. This country is lost right now. I hope we find ourselves soon, before I have to watch more widows dehumanized into objects of political theater. But, I won’t hold my breath for that outcome, as I like continuing to be alive and shit.





Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.



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About James Schlarmann 1311 Articles
Comedian, writer, founding contributor of The Political Garbage Chute, holder of zero world records or lifetime achievement awards.
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